Sex Abuse Podcast with Titus Kuepfer & Asher Witmer, Male Survivors Speak, And Can’t we just move on from the CAM Conversation?

Splsh4Ripls

PODCAST DISCUSSING CAM, JERIAH MAST, AND SEXUAL ABUSE:
On Saturday July 6,  Titus Kuepfer and his co-host David Russel  interviewed blogger and author of “Live Free”, Asher Witmer, and myself on the CAM/Jeriah Mast sex abuse scandal. It was good to connect with these gentlemen and hear their concern and care. (You can listen to the clip on “Proselytize or Apostatize”). Asher addresses male sexuality from a Christian perspective on his blog.

It was encouraging to engage honest dialogue and explore hard questions surrounding this case with these gentlemen.

Asher Witmer
Blogger and Author of “Live Free’, Asher Witmer with his wife and family

MALE SURVIVORS SPEAK OUT:
KIRK DANIEL’S BLOG:
Kirk Daniel is a male survivor who recently shared a very moving blog on Lucinda Miller’s blog. (Read “Was It A Boy?” here). This blog has resonated powerfully with other male survivors and is opening a door to much needed connection among them.  It is also encouraging for female survivors to see the men find the courage to speak.

Kirk’s blog is These Ashes.

MALE SURVIVOR’S LETTER TO THE EDITOR, WOOSTER DAILY RECORD:
Daniel Eichelberger shared a glimpse of his story in some great wisdom in his response to the CAM/Jeriah Mast scandal and the response of CAM and the community to the present crisis. He echoes the concerns of many in his letter titled “Focus Should Be On Victims“. It is an uncanny thing how the world revolves around offenders.

The public, in all fairness, deserves to be warned. The victims usually want privacy. The church wants to appear as whole as possible. Organizations want to protect their money, rankings and image. And the end result is that it’s all about everything and everyone except the victim.

This letter calls people back to those whose wellbeing should be at the heart of the decisions made by all involved.

It is encouraging to see so many gentleman coming forward and giving voice to the suffering of male victims. When the truth of their horror is spoken, and they support each other (and hopefully find support from the Christian community), healing will come. Cycles are being broken, and new legacies are being established.

This is a beautiful thing happening!

CAN’T WE JUST MOVE ON ALREADY?
There are people who are now at the point where they just want to move on and let this situation take care of itself. No one should talk about it anymore. CAM and Stanley Fox have put out their statements. Paul Weaver and Eli Weaver are on administrative leave. (Which, I am told, means quietly continuing to do some work behind the scenes after being ‘released’).  An investigation is in progress, both by law and allegedly by CAM.

So…. “Let’s let them take care of it now.”

Part of me understands this. It’s messy to talk about this case. I mean, it’s messy to talk about sexual abuse in any case, but this case especially. CAM is a trophy organization. (And a much larger trophy than I realized at the beginning of this story!) And we don’t know how to reconcile this level of evil hidden by those within their employ… or consider that a missionary with so many years abroad has used the organization to access the vulnerable. And we certainly don’t want to acknowledge that there could be others, maybe even closer to us than this.

That messy part of the conversation makes it uncomfortable, and we don’t like the discomfort. It disrupts our safety. And that is precisely why we need to talk about it. Because that disruption to norms, that loss of safety, that messy uncomfortable reality… that is the reality of every sex abuse survivor.

They’ve been robbed of their safety. They live daily with the knowledge that what their abuser did — be it an older sibling, uncle, aunt, parent, grandparent, minister, schoolteacher or other abuser — could happen again. The person they trusted, no longer deserves trust. And, the quick call to trust CAM again is nothing more than a reminder that what was done against them never really mattered to anyone, or to very few people, in religious community. (NOTE: This ‘reminder’ is how it feels to the victims. It is not that no one cares. Many, many of us do. But in their experience, that was not felt nor was it lived ‘among them’ by those with power).

Conversation changes that. Conversation invites people to enter the uncomfortable and listen to the horror in hopes of offering the healing love of Jesus in practical ways.

And, as one fatherly conservative Anabaptist gentleman said yesterday on a call, it’s going to be us common folks with no power or position who refuse to be silent who influence change.

So keep the conversation going. Allow for some squirming and shifting eyes. And even the ‘do we have to talk about it?’ question.

Truth is, Jesus came and brought discomfort and division. With purpose. This conversation brings discomfort and division. And it has purpose. It compels us to move beyond preserving image to applying Isaiah 61, and caring for the brokenhearted and the captives.

It calls us to remember the victims, to care for the neglected and oppressed, and represent Jesus well to them.

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

 

***

THE GATHERING, NOVEMBER 2, 2019, LANCASTER BIBLE COLLEGE:
One of the things we are working toward November 2, 2019, at  THE GATHERING, is creating a place where we collectively invite God into our grief.  It is exclusively for Anabaptist survivors of sexual abuse, and their trusted support persons to join together for a day of acknowledging the generations of suffering. We will cry out to God, together. The invitation is to ‘come as you are’ in your raw brokenness, if that’s where you’re at, or in your healed togetherness. The itinerary is simple. It isn’t about ‘who’ or ‘how’; it is about Jesus and a safe place to meet, to heal another layer, together.

NOTE: Anyone over 18 who sexually assaulted someone – whether child or other adult – is not welcome. This does not mean they are not forgiven if they have repented. It means victims should not fear being confronted with the source of their trauma on such a vulnerable day. Security guards will be present to remove any who show up and are identified as offenders by the victims.

Until August 1, 2019, registration for the day’s events includes lunch and attendance to the evening concert with Jason Gray, whose music had brought hope and healing to countless victims. Songs like “The Wound is Where the Light Gets In“, “A Way to See in the Dark“, Sparrows“, “Nothing is Wasted“, and many more speak a language we understand.

(More information for potential attendees is available under THE GATHERING Registration and for non-attendees at THE GATHERING Information.)

***

 

If you are able to contribute to Generations Unleashed and our work with and for victims, you may donate via PayPal or e-transfer to info@generationsunleashed.com. Or visit Generations Unleashed Donate.

© Trudy Metzger 2019

Jeriah Mast Arrested for Ohio Crimes

Splsh4Ripls10 Comments

Right there, in grocery store, I wanted to pause and weep when the news came in last evening. It was a simple message announcing that Jeriah Mast is in custody at Holmes County Jail. The heaviness of such a thing is too real to feel particularly victorious. The right thing is often the hardest thing.

And sometimes the right thing is only the right thing now because a different ‘right thing’ wasn’t done in the past. … or because many past right things were missed. Some out of lack of knowledge, some out of willful ignorance, some out of naivety. And the end result is today.

A warrant was issued July 2, 2019 for the arrest of Jeriah Daniel Mast, age 37, of Millersburg Ohio. He is facing seven Felony-3 charges and seven Misdemeanor-3 charges involving 5 victims. As of late evening, July 2, he was being held in Holmes County jail. Note that these charges are for his crimes on US soil only, not his crimes in Haiti. (To read more in local news Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: Former aid worker indicted on sexual abuse charges in Ohio. And the Daily Record: Former Ministry Worker Charged With Sexual Abuse in Holmes County)

The consequences for these crimes and years of hidden sin are now imposed on his family and loved ones; especially his wife and children. The ripples continue to impact countless people.

My heart is heavy, and deeply saddened. I find myself asking God, “What will it take for things to change? How often must this happen, again, and again – first the abuse, and then the legal battle – before this topic of sexual violence becomes a priority for ‘church’, where abuse runs rampant? Before children are protected and their wellbeing and safety prioritized?”

My confidence that exposing this case was the right thing has not lessened; it is stronger. It brought more victims forward in US, and made the broader church aware. (Though I do not know if the victims referenced on the indictment are those that came forward after exposure). It has created awareness that there are consequences when victims speak out. It also clearly communicated that there are those of us standing in the gap for victims, who are asking for organizational transparency, accountability and responsibility.

Our priority is caring for the victimized and simultaneously preventing further victimization. To this end we will press forward and continue to address abuse cases that are brought forward.

It is my hope that the ripples of this tragedy and the tremendous consequences will not be wasted. I pray the church and para-church organizations will repent for the dreadful handling of things — whether deliberately or out of naivety and ignorance — and offer a more responsible handling of sexual abuse and violence going forward. And I hope the next generation has less victims as a result.

On that note… many have prayed for Jeriah and his family, and continue to. Please also remember to pray for the victims. Religious communities have a tendency to band together to apply ointment on their own and each other’s wounds, and to mop up the proverbial spills around them, to the neglect of the victims of horror and terror whose lives have been forever altered.

Remember the victimized.

 

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

 

***

THE GATHERING, NOVEMBER 2, 2019, LANCASTER BIBLE COLLEGE:
One of the things we are working toward November 2, 2019, at  THE GATHERING, is creating a place where we collectively invite God into our grief.  It is exclusively for Anabaptist survivors of sexual abuse, and their trusted support persons to join together for a day of acknowledging the generations of suffering. We will cry out to God, together. The invitation is to ‘come as you are’ in your raw brokenness, if that’s where you’re at, or in your healed togetherness. The itinerary is simple. It isn’t about ‘who’ or ‘how’; it is about Jesus and a safe place to meet, to heal another layer, together.

NOTE: Anyone over 18 who sexually assaulted someone – whether child or other adult – is not welcome. This does not mean they are not forgiven if they have repented. It means victims should not fear being confronted with the source of their trauma on such a vulnerable day. Security guards will be present to remove any who show up and are identified as offenders by the victims.

Until August 1, 2019, registration for the day’s events includes lunch and attendance to the evening concert with Jason Gray, whose music had brought hope and healing to countless victims. Songs like “The Wound is Where the Light Gets In“, “A Way to See in the Dark“, Sparrows“, “Nothing is Wasted“, and many more speak a language we understand.

(More information for potential attendees is available under THE GATHERING Registration and for non-attendees at THE GATHERING Information.)

***

 

If you are able to contribute to Generations Unleashed and our work with and for victims, you may donate via PayPal or e-transfer to info@generationsunleashed.com. Or visit Generations Unleashed Donate.

© Trudy Metzger 2019

Haiti: A concerned Anabaptist’s letter & my response

Splsh4Ripls7 Comments

A concerned Anabaptist sent the following message, but used an email that cannot be replied to, and my response to him bounced. Therefore I will respond here in the public domain:

Name: JAY YODER

Email: anonman030612@gmail.com

Website:

Subject:: HAITI

Comment: Trudy

I simply want to pass on my condolences to you. Just in skimming over your blog posts, I see a cynical, embittered person who is desperately lashing out at people. I truly sympathize with you because in your frantic attempts to condemn all people that may differ in their views from your own, the true motives of your heart are revealed. You have much less interest in helping anybody than you do in simply swiping and clawing and hurting all the names involved in this situation. There are no winners in this situation, Trudy, and the biggest loser of all is the person that you are negative about the most, Jeriah Mast. Why in the all-is-forgiven worldview that you endorse is there no room for forgiveness for people whom you decide are wrong?

I challenge you to do this: For the next 24 hours, when you think about this situation, pray fervently for Jeriah Mast as if he would be your son. Instead of blindly condemning him and all of us despicable Anabaptists, pray for him as if he would be a person that looks like you do and shares your worldview. If you can do this, I believe that your heart can rest from it’s current misery. You have no idea what kind of pain this situation is causing and your blatantly condemning remarks will not in any way ease anybody’s pain. May your bitterness find rest and peace that only God can provide

***

Dear Mr. Yoder,

Thank you for your Christian concern. Most of what you have written requires no response, as it is clearly your anger lashing out. What level of knowledge you have of the present situation I do not know. I will leave that and your anger between you and God.

It may be of interest to you that I do not know the people involved in this situation. There is no reason for me to be “swiping and clawing and hurting all the names involved in this situation”. My involvement has come at the request of Anabaptists who care for the victims.

As for considering how I would feel if it was my son… I would be devastated. That, however, would not change what is the right thing to do. I urge you to consider if it was your children who were raped, how you would feel about giving such a person access again and accepting a fourth ‘repentance’ as trustworthy and the ‘all clear’. … or your grandchildren, depending on what stage of life you are in.

As for my ‘all-is-forgiven’ views. You are right, I do believe that God is generous in His grace and forgiveness. Whether Jeriah Mast is repentant and forgiven or not is entirely between him and God. Whether he is allowed to continue the crimes of the past 23 years is the responsibility of many. Some of us have taken that responsibility seriously. I offer no apology for this.

“All is forgiven” does not mean there are not consequences for crimes. It would be arrogant of Christians to believe they can murder, steal, rape children and expect no legal ramifications.

We have a crisis of offenders continuing to molest children under the guise of ‘all is forgiven’. Many Anabaptists agree with this, and openly reject teachings that cause this, as they have watched countless family members and friends molested by repentant abusers. Many Anabaptists also take a firm stand against abuse, and the silence that accompanies these situations too many times.

It is concerning when, repeatedly, as in this case, the concern is not for the countless victims, but rather protecting the offender to whom you say I have done greatest damage and made “the biggest loser of all”.  That, my friend, is one of the biggest contributors to the problem we have at hand. I would suggest that the offender who violates countless children is responsible for his own loss when finally someone has the courage to confront such evil and ensure it is not just another repentance that allows the crimes to continue.

Exposing evil is not harmful. According to Ephesians 5:8-13, it is the thing that makes freedom possible. All harm is brought on the offender and his/her loved ones by his/her own doing. Responsibility for that harm does not fall on the one who points out that evil.

It is my prayer that transformation will come on many levels, and children be protected.

I wish you peace,

Trudy

***

To my Anabaptist friends, prayer warriors, and family who stand for justice,

I don’t need to tell you this if you are on that list who stand for justice, but I want you to know that I do not believe the vast majority of Anabaptists accept the ‘forgive and forego accountability’ mindset.

Thank you to those who stand for truth and justice, while still extending freely the incredible grace of God. While offering forgiveness to the repentant, you also expect accountability and compliance with the laws of the land. While honouring leaders, you do not bow to corrupt power.

Thank you for the countless messages, prayers, phone calls, and encouragement. Thank you to those who have made donations as well, so that our work can continue. Your kindness will not be forgotten.

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

***

PS. Plans are coming together for the next two trips, to take place shortly. Thank you to all who have donated.

If you are able to contribute to Generations Unleashed and our work, you may send funds (via PayPal or etransfer) to info@generationsunleashed.com. Or visit Generations Unleashed.

 

© Trudy Metzger 2019