SGT. Wilson’s Statement Outlining the Day of 4-yr-old Missouri Child’s Beating Death

Trigger Warning:

Sergeant Wilson’s account of the events that occurred at the Mast residence December 19-20, 2020, and the weeks leading up to that day when little Jessica Mast was murdered at the hands of Ethan Mast, Kourtney Aumen, James Mast and Mary S. Mast, is brutal to read. As a child raised observing vile beatings, it has been a gut-wrenching story to follow, and has impacted me in ways that I cannot put into words, but are observable to my husband. (Our abusive home-life is well documented in my book, Between 2 God: A memoir of Abuse in the Mennonite Community). I caution anyone who has been through severe trauma including, family violence (including harsh beatings, often referred to as ‘spanking’, religious abuse and extremism (including the teaching to ‘spank until limp’, and the like. Be aware that the Probable Cause statements which describe the scene of the crime may be triggering, and it may be wise to have a friend, your support person or someone with you when reading, or available to debrief after.

Besides the terror that sweet child felt, and the unthinkable neglect as she ran for her parents and they fled, what is so utterly horrifying to me is that she and her little brother were to hold still while they were beaten; they were to surrender. A two year old and a four year old, to surrender to a beating and hold still for it.

This is the same mentality that I was raised with. We were forced to hold still and comply with violent whippings. The more we moved, the more we were whipped. On at least one occasion, my father intervened when my mother whipped a sibling. Had he not done so, she would likely have beat my sibling to a bloody pulp. Other siblings bear the scars to this day, of the violence they endured at the hands of my parents.

It is the same mentality that is taught when I child is to be “paddled until they go limp” as a sign of surrender; a teaching at least one of the accused killer’s churches taught.

I understand that my call, in my previous blog, to the Charity church that taught this to acknowledge the wrongness of that teaching, and repent (recant) of it, is offensive to some. Those offended by a call to repentance are the people who are the least safe. When was a call to take ownership of a faulty teaching and a call to repent of it ever a bad idea? To see something as horrific as what happened in Missouri, by someone raised with that mindset, and to see in this report how shockingly it mimics the teachings, should bring all to a place of brokenness who teach such things.

It is not my place to say all spanking is wrong. That was and is not my point. The law leaves room for it, with restraint. The Bible has been terribly misinterpreted as allowing for beatings that go far beyond loving discipline. That simply is not the way of Jesus, and it is not the way of love. Spankings, with restraint, I leave between an individual and God. Sadly, those of us who were raised with harsh spankings (aka beatings), or the mindset of ‘spank until they go limp’ or surrender, are conditioned for ‘discipline’ that is very unhealthy, and is, in fact, abuse.

An Anabaptist gentleman I met on Facebook, who is 16 years my senior — therefore 16 years wiser, though he stated he wasn’t sure about that — and who started gently calling me out on things that he finds questionable in my writings — wrote me after I posted my last blog. I appreciate him and consider him a friend, though we’ve never met. The following is our exchange, shared with his permission:

Hi Trudy, just some thoughts…what happened in Mo., simply awful. I would like to point out another side, tho. I attend a church, (not Charity style) that has LOTS of small/young children. These children are bright-eyed, open faced, happy, contented (tho not perfect)…they love their parents, and they know their parents love them. These are parents that believe in spanking (properly done, NOT in an abusive way). They love their children in every way, and these are some of the happiest, obedient, full-of-life kids I’ve ever seen. Proper use of spanking (which is only part of the big picture), produces great children. These parents and their children have some of the greatest relationships I have seen, ever, anywhere. What happened at Charity was often wrong, but at the time they probably thought it was the right thing. So sad.

I responded with the following:

If I could go back, I would not spank our children. I was too broken. Too lost. Too unaware of God’s grace and the kind Abba Father He is. And that is the story of many of us. As I say in the one FB conversation [referenced in previous blog] — and I don’t even know if it’s one of the ones I used [in my blog] — I don’t judge every parent who spanks as [being] abusive. I thought I was doing what was supposed to be [right]. And it was wrong. It wasn’t relational. God is a relational God. I didn’t know that. So I won’t judge the parents who reserve spanking for the rare situation (although I [also] did not spank often) and who are gentle. But I wouldn’t do it again.

Having worked with victims of sexual and domestic violence for eleven years now, I know that the number of homes that beat children ‘nigh unto death’, or where children are actually threatened with death, is shockingly high. By that I don’t mean “90% or even 50%”. I mean, it is shockingly high for what we would expect in a nonresistant people claiming to know Jesus.

Anyone who feels compelled to defend that mindset and teaching, or respond with knee jerk reaction to my call to repentance, by taking what I said out of context and making it about ‘hating Anabaptists’ or blaming them, has an agenda that is not inspired by Christ. It’s that simple.

So I say again, without apology, that I pray those who have taught these things will repent and recant of those teachings. They are abusive and damaging teachings. It isn’t their ‘fault’, what happened in Missouri. I am not blaming the Charity church for this. That was not my message last blog, and it is not my message today. But to recant those teachings is drawing a clear line between what is right and Christlike, and what is wrong and abusive.

I am told by someone with whom Mose Stoltzfus (preacher of Ephrata Christian Fellowship who passed away December 6, 2020) spoke firsthand, as well as having it confirmed from someone who was from Charity, that Mose was extremely concerned about the situation with Kourtney Aumen living with the James Mast family. He was concerned about how it came to be that Kourtney lived with them, and tried to influence against it, but he was not heard. He was especially concerned that James Mast — a male in his twenties — had been asked to drive Kourtney — a troubled girl in her late teens — some 15 hours by himself. He saw the dangers, but others involved in that decision disregarded him. So it was not that the leaders did care. Thus, my message is not one of harsh criticism or blame.

My message is that some of the teachings in Charity and Charity-type churches, regarding spanking until limp — including infants — were abusive. I believe there would be value in recanting them. Out loud. For those they influenced to hear. I believe there would be healing that comes to the many who were negatively impacted — whether those who practiced this, or victims of that practice. I believe it would be a good and God-honouring thing for the church to do. And the Bible states that when we know of good that we could do, and we don’t do it, it becomes sin. (James 4:17)

That was my message two years ago, and it is my message today. I pray that we will live to say the day this is done. If we are the body of Christ, and if we are to reflect Him well, then we must be humble enough to learn a better more loving way. (And I do consider Charity-type Christians as my spiritual family. Some of my most loved and respected family and friends are Charity-type. They are gentle. Kind. Christlike. Spirit-led). I pray that God will bring redemption out of this tragedy, and a new and more Christ-reflective way will be birthed out of this, so there is a much clearer line between abuse/violence and loving guidance.

As always…

~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2020

Update: Anabaptist church in the Bronx & an invitation to a day of prayer and fasting, April 3

Each day I look forward to updates from Rich about what their church has been up to. It isn’t possible for me to do what they are doing, though I would long to do so, so for now I do the part I can: pray, share their updates, and contribute financially. A week ago I didn’t know he and Sandy are pastoring a church, and knew nothing about their church, and now  they have left a ‘heart print’ on my life, and many of you. Following is his update:

***A few disclaimers to our friends and acquaintances. As I read through your kind, thoughtful comments from last night’s post and noticed that many friends shared the post, I got a bit uneasy. I mean, our family and close friends and church know that my breath stinks if I don’t brush my teeth or take a breath mint, and I can blow up a bathroom with the best of them. Another way to put this? We are just ordinary people serving an extraordinary God. Some of you seem to have been preparing nominations for sainthood for Rich and Sandy. Please don’t waste your postage. We are ordinary people serving an extraordinary God. We really do appreciate your prayers! Seriously.

This global, national, and local crisis is serious, despite those who think it is just a vast left-wing conspiracy to unseat the powers that be. Political hacks exist in every party and in every community, but this is more serious than any political hack. I am suggesting to our church group and to any other believers out there who are interested, please consider making Friday, April 3rd, a Day of Prayer and Fasting.

II Chronicles 7:12-14 is very relevant for such a time as this. “When I…send a pestilence…if my people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” The people of God will always make the right choice when we humble ourselves, and pray and seek the face of God, and repent of anything we need to repent of. Fasting provides us a chance to identify more closely with the suffering that others are facing, and to direct ourselves away from our food [and other] addictions and towards God.

2 Chronicles 7:14

I am hesitant to mention names of people to pray for in this public forum, but if you are interested in a list of prayer requests email us at

Friends have been asking how to give to us as we help here. We have a church PayPal account, The church received $880 in the past two days from friends interested in helping us as we help our community. If you want to give now, we will designate it for ministry for EMS workers, ER workers, and other persons affected by this crisis. We have a friend who lost his job, a friend whose business is struggling, and the friend on the ventilator we mentioned last night has some financial difficulties. Brianna said that we ought to see if we could start a fund to help people who are out of a job who can’t pay their rent. I think that’s a great idea. Unfortunately, this struggle is going to hit many parts of the US and world. We are in the middle of it right here in NYC, but there are places around the US and around the world that are soon going to be in the middle of it, either with the medical crisis or the economic crisis, and probably both. If you would rather give directly to us as a family you could PM us and we could send you our mailing or PayPal address.

We are hoping to recruit some help to take another set of sandwiches to the Jacobi Medical Center this Friday. I already asked Orville, our Christian friend on Boston Road whose restaurant is slow, if we can order our sandwiches from him. And he agreed to pay another friend who lost his job to come in and help him prepare the sandwiches. It’s probably not “trickle-down economy” for those who know the term. Maybe we’ll call it “Living Waterfalls” economy.

Brendan Weaver here at Believers in Jesus Church spearheaded some food distribution and prayer today, and sent an update to us, which I include below:

**Our church provided lunch for the EMS Station nearest us today. We provided food for 35 people including platters of sub sandwiches and a cookie platter from Subway, single-serving chip bags and drinks from Aldi. Suzie is the little Asian lady at Subway that I have worked with over the past two days for the food orders. I had explained our mission to her yesterday and today she seemed delighted to see me and was eager to help figure out exactly how much food would be need. Both days she went the extra mile to give discounts. Today as I was leaving, I bid her farewell with a “God bless.” Her response was, “No, God bless you.”

At the EMS Station it was a bit confusing to find the main entrance so I approach a running ambulance with a crew sitting in the front and explained my reason for being there. They directed me to the front door then they went inside to get help to carry the food. Probably 6 or 8 EMTs and Paramedics came out to help carry in the bags. They were all enthusiastic with their appreciation and thanks including cries of “God is good.” They asked me to come into the station where I met the desk lieutenant and EMT Guzman, who was my contact from yesterday. All were very grateful and appreciative that the church would reach out in this way. The lieutenant said about 50% of their staff is out sick and their call volume is higher than normal, but they are doing okay because they have received mutual aid support in the form of EMTs and paramedics from other states to help staff their ambulances. I spoke with them for a few minutes and then asked if it would be okay if we prayed together. They agreed and the group of 6-8 of us in the room had prayer together asking for God’s protection on them and our city. I explained that many churches are reaching out from across the USA wanting to know how to help and that they please let us know if they could think of any other way beyond food and prayer that we could be of assistance. I also made sure to attach prayer cards from Stan & Sharon to each platter of sandwiches and cookies and also gave them a stack of prayer cards. As I was leaving, they were sending out a message on their radio that the food had arrived. One thing is sure, the gift was appreciated and FDNY EMS Station 20 was blessed today.**

Ecc 11:1 Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days.
1 Cor 3:7 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.

If you can join us, let’s make Friday, April 3rd, a Day of Prayer and Fasting.



About a week or two into the realization that there is a serious pandemic on our hands, and it isn’t only media hype, I found the photo (above), added 2 Chronicles 7:14, and made it my Facebook profile pic. At the time I had forgotten that the verses prior talk about God sending a pestilence, followed by this call to repentance. A pestilence is a fatal epidemic disease. It wasn’t until Rich wrote about it that this detail came back to me.

For many months, even years. there have been prophetic voices speaking into this, warning the people of God to repent, to turn back to His ways, or there will be consequences. From worshipping materialism, to holding our own beliefs as ‘salvation’ — or our good name — to disregarding Amos 5, where God makes it clear that He is sick of ‘worship’ when justice and mercy have lost their place, we need to repent and turn our hearts back to Him. If you want to know what is important to God, read Amos 5:

A Lament and Call to Repentance
Hear this word, Israel, this lament I take up concerning you:
“Fallen is Virgin Israel,
never to rise again,
deserted in her own land,
with no one to lift her up.”
This is what the Sovereign Lordsays to Israel:
“Your city that marches out a thousand strong
will have only a hundred left;
your town that marches out a hundred strong
will have only ten left.”
This is what the Lord says to Israel:

“Seek me and live;
    do not seek Bethel (a holy place).
do not go to Gilgal (Joshua 4:20 – an alter),
do not journey to Beersheba (God’s promises, Genesis 26:23–33).
For Gilgal (the alter) will surely go into exile,
and Bethel (the holy place) will be reduced to nothing.[a]
Seek the Lord and live,
or he will sweep through the tribes of Joseph like a fire;
it will devour them,
and Bethel will have no one to quench it.
There are those who turn justice into bitterness
and cast righteousness to the ground
He who made the Pleiades and Orion,
who turns midnight into dawn
and darkens day into night,
who calls for the waters of the sea
and pours them out over the face of the land—
the Lord is his name.
With a blinding flash he destroys the stronghold
and brings the fortified city to ruin.
10 There are those who hate the one who upholds justice in court
and detest the one who tells the truth.
11 You levy a straw tax on the poor
and impose a tax on their grain.
Therefore, though you have built stone mansions,
you will not live in them;
though you have planted lush vineyards,
you will not drink their wine.
12 For I know how many are your offenses
and how great your sins.
There are those who oppress the innocent and take bribes
and deprive the poor of justice in the courts.
13 Therefore the prudent keep quiet in such times,
for the times are evil.
14 Seek good, not evil,
that you may live.
Then the Lord God Almighty will be with you,
just as you say he is.
15 Hate evil, love good;
maintain justice in the courts.
Perhaps the Lord God Almighty will have mercy
on the remnant of Joseph.
16 Therefore this is what the Lord, the Lord God Almighty, says:
“There will be wailing in all the streets
and cries of anguish in every public square.
The farmers will be summoned to weep
and the mourners to wail.
17 There will be wailing in all the vineyards,
for I will pass through your midst,”
says the Lord.
The Day of the Lord
18 Woe to you who long
for the day of the Lord!
Why do you long for the day of the Lord?
That day will be darkness, not light.
19 It will be as though a man fled from a lion
only to meet a bear,
as though he entered his house
and rested his hand on the wall
only to have a snake bite him.
20 Will not the day of the Lord be darkness, not light—
pitch-dark, without a ray of brightness?
21 I hate, I despise your religious festivals;
    your assemblies are a stench to me.
22 Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings,
    I will not accept them.
Though you bring choice fellowship offerings,
I will have no regard for them.
23 Away with the noise of your songs!
I will not listen to the music of your harps.
24 But let justice roll on like a river,
    righteousness like a never-failing stream!
25 “Did you bring me sacrifices and offerings
forty years in the wilderness, people of Israel?
26 You have lifted up the shrine of your king,
the pedestal of your idols,
the star of your god—
which you made for yourselves.
27 Therefore I will send you into exile beyond Damascus (a well-watered land),”
says the Lord, whose name is God Almighty.
    Says the Lord, whose name is the God of hosts.


Do I think God is ‘sending’ the current epidemic?  No. Not at all. Disease is the result of our sin and fallenness. And when we cut God out, or turn from Him to idolatry, there are consequences. And idolatry is giving our primary allegiance and focus to anything other than God. It is exalting any other thing to the place reserved for Jesus, for God. Whether a physical idol, a belief system, or any other thing that I hold as part of my salvation or give my love and allegiance, we have a definite problem with idolatry in churches today. And God has stepped back. He has not abandoned us, but He has not prevented the consequences of sin from doing great harm. It is up to us to humble ourselves and cry out to Him.

I have written about it before, and it bears repeating. God calls believers to repent for the healing of the nation. I invite you to join in, Friday April 3, to fast and pray for our nation, to repent of what you need to repent of, and to stand in the gap for all impacted by this terrible devastation.


As always,

~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2020


Mennonite-raised man with EXTREMELY strong ties to wealthy Mennonites threatens to sue me with their backing… and advice I gave his wife

On Sunday September 22, 2019, a man contacted me in a bit of a sour mood. Initially he was irritated about a status I posted, in which I wrote: “If a man had molested his own daughters (or anyone else, for that matter), in the past, is he ever the right choice to be in leadership (board of directors or other) for an organization offering support for troubled young women? To give context, he has only been dealt with quietly and has never been reported.” I don’t know context for his frustration, exactly, but he’s entitled to his opinion. I’m entitled to mine. And I’m entitled to post what I wish on my FB, as long as it does not violate FB rules… or my own conscience before God.

In any case, whatever bothered him about this status, his response was to launch into an attack on me for allegedly wrecking their marriage with the advice I gave his wife. (Advice that I have posted below). In reality, I listened to his wife, and was careful not to give advice, as you will see below.

The man then launched into threats to sue me: “If you continue to communicate with my wife I will sue you. That’s not a threat it’s a statement. [Ummm…No… It’s a threat]. You have caused enough unnecessary drama and I have the backing of a lot of plain people and major funds. Have a good life and I hope the Lord works a miracle with you.

Baffled by the allegations and not able to recall what advice I gave, beyond my usual, “I care… you’re not alone… seek professional counseling…”, I went back through my conversations with his wife to see what ‘drama’ I had created. The only ‘drama’ I can figure out is that I gave her a place to share her fears and concern…

The following is the kind of counsel I gave, (with all identifying information removed, and removing all comments except my own):

I went through [something similar to what you’re describing] and didn’t even think to discuss any of it with my doctor. [identifying information redacted]. It might be good to talk to your doctor about it […]

You are not alone. Many of us have pushed through these same struggles. It is hard, but worth fighting through. Twenty-five years later, Tim is my best friend. And to think we almost didn’t make it a few times, if only because I felt I couldn’t push through anymore. I felt unloved, abandoned and worthless.”

Do you tell him he’s a good dad, and all the other qualities he has?

[Tim & I] pushed through the ‘waves’ and ‘cycles of confusion’ [in our marriage]. I tried always to build him up and speak to his strengths, and he is by nature very faithful. That helped a lot. But eventually we also had to learn to ‘fight well’ and really get to the bottom of the main hurts. There is a right time, and right way to ‘fight’ and there is a right time and right way to get to the bottom of key issues. We Mennonite women have mostly not been taught to do that well.

You can get through this, and be best friends again. I’m not going to lie. It is hard work. But it is so worth it!

Do you know each other’s love languages?

(T)he the more depleted each partner gets, the harder it is to meet the needs of the other. Hang in there. I will pray for you

So here are the professional counselors my friend would recommend:
[redacted to remove location and identifying information]..

I can’t give advice, per se, but I can encourage you to keep seeing your counsellor and hopefully get the support you need to get through this. I will pray for you.

I’ll keep praying for you, trusting God to heal and restore what has been lost.

I’m so glad [they] are healing, and I trust God will move in unexpected ways for you and [your husband], healing you individually, and relationally. I’m not a fan of ‘formulas’, but have heard couples who were transformed with the guide of Love Dare (a book). I don’t know if it would be beneficial and supportive for you, or not, but I’ll leave that with you to contemplate.

These are examples of the kind of advice I gave. And he claims I gave damaging advice that caused drama, and is threatening to sue me if I don’t stay away from his wife… even though she is the one who reached out to me! (While he has the privilege of asking me to stay away from his wife we don’t live in a country where a man can sue someone for responding to their spouse when she reaches out. It isn’t 1819. And this is USA and Canada..) Should the wife ask me not to contact her,  I presume there might be some room for harassment charges…. except that I wouldn’t contact her. Also, there’s always the ‘unfriend’ and ‘block’ or ‘block messages’ buttons on FB. That would be another option if it’s drama he is trying to avoid.

Back to the issue of lawsuits…
The man initially threatened to sue me if I contact his wife again. Later, in a moment of of sanctifying his threats, he told me it would be to help others….

He also told me that he is not a Mennonite, but claims to be an advocate for them. Fair enough. Being a ‘not Mennonite’ is neither here nor there to me, though, last I heard he still attends a conservative church, with his wife in covering …. so he’s ‘culturally’ a Mennonite. His father is a conservative Anabaptist leader, last I heard. And he alleges to have the backing of wealthy conservative Mennonites in his endeavours against me.

I took this to mean he was saying the threat of lawsuit doesn’t reflect badly on Mennonites, though I’m not sure what his point was, because he claims to have the backing of wealthy Mennonites to sue me, and a list of 10 people who want to sue me. (And those communications could all be subpoenaed for court. That would be fun). That, if true, puts it all right back on people in the conservative Anabaptist culture.

Following are some of the comments he sent. His messages are italicized. My response are plain text, and my added thoughts are in brackets:

“I have the backing of a lot of plain people and major funds.”


(I’m constantly reminded that by taking crimes to the law I am not a forgiving person, and I obviously don’t believe in redemption. But suing me? That’s okay because, well, exposing sex crimes disrupts … well, a whole lot of things. So suing me is non-resistant? Forgiving? Turning the other cheek? Or has life really become all about money and power?  All of these threats might scare me if money was more powerful than God, or a prerequisite for getting into heaven. But…. Well…. The good news is that God is still in control and if He sees fit to use a lawsuit against me to unearth more buried corruption, so be it. I am His servant. And He will take care of me. Of this I am confident. Losing everything would only scare me if I didn’t have Him. And I don’t have that much to lose, so there’s that.)

He continued:

“I got other people talking to me about you and you know as well as I do I have EXTREMELY strong ties to the plain churches. Heck I have relatives in about every one.”


(What more can a person say? Is he actually saying having “EXTREMELY strong ties to the plain churches” is a threat? What are they in his mind, the mafia?)

“I was told to talk about it to you along time ago but I never did because I don’t wanna be that guy. No need to go into detail. Your a smart person and you know.”

(No I don’t know because I don’t know who said he should talk to me, or why.  And like it or not, you are “that guy”, whatever that means, because you just did it).

I don’t care about myself. I care about others that are being hurt.
The Lord has blessed my business and I intend to use the funds to help others. I wouldn’t do that if I only cared about myself. God bless

My response:
“And suing blesses people how? There is nothing of Jesus likeness in your messaging today. And then end with “God bless”? Don’t use His name in vain and try to spiritualize the profane.”

His comeback:
Protects the innocent
Even if I go to hell I’ll at least have protected some people

My response:
“You don’t have a leg to stand on. I have done nothing to you or your wife, and to sue me makes no sense.”

His comeback:
It wouldn’t be on behalf of me and my wife. I would be supplying funds to someone else that has contacted me. Oh well if you have done nothing wrong then you don’t need to worry

My response:
I’m not worried. Feel free to provide funds for others. But initially you said if I continue to communicate with your wife you will sue me. So which is it? Suing on behalf of someone else or because I respond to your wife?

His comeback:
It can be either.
That’s on you

(So it seems he doesn’t care so much what method he uses to get at me, or whether his own behalf or someone else’s. He just cares that he finds some way to sue me. That should stand up well in court. “Yes, Judge, I am determined to somehow bring harm to this woman who was there for my wife when she was going through a hard time. I don’t care how. I just care that I get it done. And, as you can see, Mr. Judge, her advice is terrible! She encouraged my wife to find my strengths and praise me. She recommended speaking with her family doctor and professional counselors. She also connected her with a woman who had contacts for professional counselors and a pastor she thought might specifically help our marriage. And then she had the audacity to tell my wife she and her husband walked through similar struggles and came out as best friends! Unbelievable! So, yes, Mr. Judge, I’m going to sue her, and I’m going to give money to other conservative Mennonites who want to sue her! I’ve had quite enough of this!”  (SIDE NOTE: If you are conservative Mennonite and want to sue me but need funds to do so, let me know. I know a guy with deep pockets and a pile of money who would help you)).

But the whole thing didn’t end there. He returned with more bullying a day later, after I posted a status saying that after I posted about getting lawsuit threats, I had learned of three conservative Anabaptists wanting to sue me. That inspired the following:

His message:

“you only know of three. I have written proof of at least 10
But it wasn’t right of me to say everything I know yesterday and I apologize.

My response:
“I can’t recall a thing you said that amounts to ‘everything you know’ or what others might have told you. No need to apologize. And I’ve updated the status to include the 10 🙂

His comeback:
Basically I got derailed for the things you told my wife. You have only heard her side of the story. [Redacted for confidentiality and protect their marriage]. You made it worse. Even if you can see that you will never admit it. Also you have no respect for men otherwise you wouldn’t feel the need to text me wife to cover your tracks when I asked you not to. Good day

[Redacted for confidentiality and protect their marriage]

[Redacted for confidentiality and protect their marriage]

My response:
“I went back and read all conversations between me and your wife. I don’t know what you think I ‘advised’ or told her, but you have it very, very wrong. I didn’t text your wife to cover my tracks [yesterday after being accused of causing drama and bad advice]. I messaged her to apologize for anything I did to cause harm, and I asked if she could point out what I did/said to cause that harm so I might learn from it. How you think that is me covering tracks is beyond me. You sound paranoid, at best.

His comeback:
I’m not paranoid. At all. We are currently doing a roof for the retired police commissioner of Chicago and he went down over your timeline, you should here what he has to say…..oh wait you would probably call him paranoid also.”

My response:
lol! I’m talking about [being] paranoid over my conversations with your wife and what advice you think I gave. I have hard evidence of what kind of advice it was, and I would comfortably post it on a blog. [as I have now done here]

As for the police commissioner… I shared the stage with an LAPD Sex Crimes Officer (currently off due to injury) this weekend who does the same work I do [of confronting and exposing sex crimes]. And I have lawyers, doctors/psychiatrists and other professionals on my friend list who give me feedback on my writings. And I would welcome hearing the Chicago commissioner’s words and opinions.”

(COMMENT: Interesting fact. What is public on my profile would not raise any concerns for any law enforcement officer. This was a power play. So, yes, Mr. Retired Commissioner, please forward your concerns about my Facebook Posts via my Contact Page).

His comeback:
Well you definitely made our marriage worse. *Everyone that reads our texts agrees.”

My response:
“Take some ownership, [name redacted]. You haven’t read the advice I gave. If you did, you’d know it was good advice.”

His comeback:
“You got a big head. You made a mistake and you can’t own up to it”

My response:
“Own your wrongs. Stop blaming other people. Don’t use your “I’m rich and powerful” to attempt to intimidate people.”

[insert “deleted comment”]
NOTE: I shared the advice I gave his wife — same as above — but decided to delete and share on my blog instead as I was not interested in further private dialogue with him. He opened the next comment before I was able to delete it:

“Those are direct copies of advice I gave your wife. [referring to same as above]. I’d tell her all of those things again. Shame on you for trying to blame your failure in your marriage on me.”

His comeback:
There is a special place in Hell for people that wreck marriages. No fingers pointed. Only cowards remove messages. No fingers pointed

(A day ago he was the one who deleted messages. Of course the rules are different for other people in the lives of bullies).

My response:
“Then stop wrecking your marriage and avoid that special place in hell. Take ownership.
I removed the messages because I decided it can go in a public blog instead.”

His comeback:
Btw I’m not a Mennonite. Just a advocate for them.

My response:
“You are abusive. And you are a bully.”

“You’re mennonite.
It’s a culture. And you are definitely in it.
Now you can stop harassing me.”

His comeback:
Thanks for that one message calling me names. Libel lawsuit grounds.

My response:
“You mean calling you a bully?
Libel, my friend, is not based on a private message.
It is based on public statements.”

With this, I closed comments so he could no longer message me. I can take a lot, but there’s a point where the bullying is a waste of time that could be spent elsewhere. As for libel, there’s not grounds for a libel suit even with me posting all of this publicly. For one, I have not named him, and he is not identifiable. Besides, it is truth I’m posting, and not lies. I have quoted his own bullying here, and how he uses his money as power to destroy. Money is fleeting. By tomorrow morning, if God saw fit to let some tragedy befall any of us, we’d be a pennyless beggar. I do not wish that for him or anyone. But I do pray God gets hold of his heart and he uses his finances for the Kingdom of God not the work of the devil.

Having blocked his messages, he wasn’t done. He went to my other account and sent the following:

My response was to block him there completely. As for how many people he has spying on me, I really couldn’t care. Spy all you want…. bring in an army of spies. I’m used to be watched. I’ll still tell the truth.

I told him to stop harassing me — because he was the one reaching out to me, and he follows that up by telling me not to harass him or his wife? He’s been hounding me, and I’m asked to stop harassing? (Gaslighting much?) And he includes more litigation threats. That’s harassment. He reminds me again of how much money he has. (Yeah, yeah, buddy, I heard you the first time. You’re filthy rich. So?) And he ends by saying money goes a long way in the judicial system. Huh? Is he saying the system is corrupt and he will use their corruption in partnership with his own corruption to try to sue me unjustly? Like… is he saying US judicial systems are so corrupt that he can use money to win a case against me that’s not legit?

Even if true, here’s the problem. I’m Canadian. An American would have to sue me in Canadian court because Canada has jurisdiction over me. And, frankly, I don’t believe our judicial system is so corrupt that an American can come prancing in here with a lawsuit (based on what, again?) and a bag of money to buy favours.

So, dear Mr. I-WannaSueHerPantsOff, you should start by researching how to sue a Canadian who has broken no laws and committed no crimes, and brought no harm. And then you shouldn’t tell me you plan to sue me. You should just do it. That is, if you can find a lawyer desperate and crooked enough to take your money when the case has no grounds for a lawsuit.

Never play poker with your cards facing the other players.

And never ever use empty threats to bully people. In particular people who would reveal in court that, in fact, they were helpful and supportive to your wife, and encouraged her to get professional support and advice. That giving such advice is such a threat to any husband is very concerning.

In closing, I know you are wealthy. No need to remind me.

Truth is, for me ‘stuff’ in this life is not that important. I’m halfway to 100. Anything God needs me to do in the next 20 to 50 years (or week or two, since we are not promised long life), He will provide. Unencumbered by ‘stuff’, usually makes people more passionate and committed to their calling. And passion and commitment to a calling makes stuff less important. Win/win.

My prayer is that those who are offended at truth telling and exposing wickedness take a step back, and check their hearts. What is it about telling the truth that offends you so deeply? What about it makes you hate me and wish me dead? What about it makes you want to sue me?

To those threatening lawsuits… Some of you claim to know Jesus. Some claim to be non resistant. If war should arise and you would be drafted, you would seek to be excluded on religious grounds. And some of you stand behind a conservative Anabaptist pulpits preaching Jesus on Sundays. (Or is it Him you preach?) Yet, Monday through Saturday you think about suing me and even talk about it? If I am so far gone astray, should you not reach out to me to draw me to Christ? And if you are not interested in the Jesus Way, why bother holding on to a culture and religion that claims His name, and defame both Jesus and the religion?

I will unapologetically continue to expose sexual abuse and violence. No amount of empty lawsuit threats will stop me from my calling, and bullying and threats will be called out publicly. I am careful to speak truth. If ever I get things wrong that I have posted, I apologize. I never function out of hatred or a desire to destroy people, but rather to stop abuse and corruption.

If that is so wrong, then go ahead and do what you need to do.


As always…

~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2019


Events and Announcements:

Dayton Virginia: Training and conference, October 9-12, 2019.

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To read a recent 5-part series addressing victim healing and forgiveness for offenders, click: HERE.



Some time ago, a friend told me of a medical doctor (Anabaptist) who is doing research into sexual abuse in Anabaptist communities. To take his survey visit:
Anabaptist Medical Matters


NOVEMBER 2, 2019
Lancaster Bible College, Lancaster PA

NOTE: Due to the concert being the celebration for survivors of abuse,
we ask that any who have sexually abused as adults not attend out of respect

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November 2, 2019:  THE GATHERING, held at Lancaster Bible College, is a place where survivors of sexual assault, together with our support person(s), collectively invite God into our grief.  It is exclusively for Anabaptist survivors of sexual abuse and trusted support persons to gather for a day of acknowledging the generations of suffering and sexual violence among us. We will cry out to God, together. Come as you are in your raw brokenness, if that’s where you’re at, or in your healed togetherness. We welcome you! The itinerary is simple. It isn’t about ‘who’ or ‘how’; it is about Jesus and a safe place to meet, to grieve and heal another layer, together.

NOTE: Anyone over 18 who sexually assaulted someone – whether child or other adult – is not welcome. This does not mean they are not forgiven if they have repented. It means victims should not fear being confronted with the source of their trauma on such a vulnerable day. Security guards will be present to remove any who show up and are identified as offenders by the victims.

Until August 1, 2019, registration for the day’s events includes lunch and attendance to the evening concert with Jason Gray, whose music had brought hope and healing to countless victims. Songs like “The Wound is Where the Light Gets In“, “A Way to See in the Dark“, Sparrows“, “Nothing is Wasted“, and many more speak a language we understand.

NOTE: After August 1 concert is included dependant on availability. Once concert tickets are sold out, registrations will continue until October 1 and include lunch only.


If you are able to contribute to Generations Unleashed and our work with and for victims, you may donate via PayPal or e-transfer to Or visit Generations Unleashed Donate.