Blowing the Whistle on Prairie Bible Institute…

Sadly, the story reblogged here is not the first victim’s story I’ve heard coming from Prairie Bible Institute… Silence and cover up are not the answer. If we stand silently by, while this abuse is covered up, then God help us all, if we dare to raise our voice against homosexuality, same-sex marriage and any sexual activity involving consenting adults. We have lost our right to speak, if we fail to act on victimization in our Christian cultures.

If we are going to stand for truth and purity, we have to start in our homes, our churches and our Christian educational facilities.

Forget shaking your heads and clucking your tongues. It’s closer to home than you think. It’s in your church, in your school and, God forbid, even in some of your homes. Our silence has been the breeding ground for the multiplication of evil.

I dare you to first fall on your face before God and repent if you have not already done so, and then rise to your feet, find your voice, and stand up and shout, “Enough is enough! As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord! We will expose the lies!”

2 Chronicles 7:14

New International Version (NIV)

14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Blowing the Whistle on Prairie Bible Institute

Reblogged from: http://pbisurvivors.com/)

After many months of feeling conflicted and agonizing over the ramifications of my decision, I am blowing the whistle on an egregious case of cover-up and collusion on the part of the administration of Prairie Bible Institute in regards to the physical and sexual abuse of a child.

Last fall I was contacted by former Prairie staff and informed about a young woman who had experienced years of emotional, physical and sexual abuse at the hands of her mother, father and brother.  The story was particularly disturbing given the fact that all three of these individuals were employed by Prairie: two of them as contract workers in recent facility work and one of them as a current full-time employee in a prominent position with the school….

(Continue reading here: and be sure to visit other pages on their site.)

Be a Voice for Those Who Have Been Silenced

Other Articles:
On Covering the Dead Elephant in the Busiest Intersection in Town
RCMP & PBI Acknowledge Abuses, Police Not Laying Charges

And the flip side:
PBI Responds: Unconventional Leadership in the Midst of Abuse Allegations

© Trudy Metzger

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Sexual Abuse & Violence: This is My Story

Before I tackle how I taught my children about healthy sexuality, I will write about what and how I learned. My frame of reference in childhood was warped, and that is where I will begin.

In childhood no one talked to me about my body. All I knew then was based on what happened to me, and what I witnessed around me.  Both were damaging, though what I witnessed was probably more traumatic than what was done, or what I recall was done.

Many personal experience memories are still vague, while others have come back in vivid colour over the past fifteen to twenty years. To repeat them in graphic detail would be inappropriate and unproductive, but to be silent and avoid truth is no better, so I will be honest, but gentle and discreet.

I was born in La Batea, Zacatecas, Mexico, into a large Mennonite family. My family background was Old Colony Mennonite, also known as Russian Mennonites or Mexican Mennonites. When I was nine months old we moved to Chihuahua and started attending the ‘Kleine Gemeinde’, or ‘Small Congregation’ church, a more evangelical group that had split off of the more conservative group.

Memories of attending church are virtually non-existent, though I am told we attended regularly. The little I do recall of times at church, are pleasant and ‘happy’ memories.

At home things were very different. My father was a violent man, driven to succeed, but always falling short. A dreamer with big ideas, but no resources or focus to carry them out, he lived life on a short fuse.

Having more than a dozen children—sixteen by the time all was said and done—he was under a lot of financial pressure. Added to this was his own painful childhood, which he did not tell me much about until I was twenty-one. As if that wasn’t enough dysfunction, my father also sexually abused some of his daughters, myself included, to one degree or another, as well as at least one other cousin.

How much his rage was because of the past, and how much it was his own guilt, we will never know, but our childhood was riddled with death threats, violence and constant terror. Our home was not safe, in any way, and at a very young age I learned to ‘live in a bubble’, so to speak. It is difficult to explain but there is a mental/psychological ‘disconnect’ that happens when life is that harsh.

While my memories of sexual abuse are few and far between, memories of what I observed are much more graphic. Most of our family had been sexually abused by someone, whether uncles and aunts, a parent, or neighbours, and that resulted in serious sexual dysfunction between siblings in various degrees of incest and inappropriate behaviours. Where this impacted my life, I have freely forgiven and released siblings. We were children with a frame of reference so vile, so harsh, that this was all ‘normal’.

One of the most painful realities of sexual abuse is that children learn destructive behaviours and perceive them to be ‘normal’. But, because the topic is often not spoken of, other than a scolding or beating if caught, there is a sense of secrecy that leads children to believe that it is normal private behaviour, it is getting caught that is the problem. Especially since the adults who punish children, beating them to within an inch of their life, are often the perpetrators in the lives of those very children. And, when caught in the act, it didn’t matter if the child was the instigator or the victim. The punishment was severe either way.

That was the case in our home, and in many homes within the Old Colony culture and those who had broken away from that culture. How the sexual abuse and perversion took such deep root, I do not know, but it was rampant then, and in many communities it has not improved.

The hardest part in healing has been remembering, usually against my will, the horrific sexual abuse I witnessed as I saw groups of older teens use and abuse little children. On at least one occasion I followed a group of teens as they led some of my older siblings to a ‘secret place’ where I witnessed horrible things. For many years I questioned whether I had imagined it, dreamed it out of thin air, but this year I had the courage to ask several siblings.

Instantly, when I mentioned the ‘secret location’, the one sibling gasped, and before I could even describe what I thought I remembered, he repeated in graphic detail a vision that had haunted me for almost forty years. He had completely blocked it until I mentioned the place. We believe I was three years old when I witnessed this, or four at the most, since that family moved away from the community at that time.

With this as my framework for understanding sexuality, I was destined for pain and tragedy. The events that took place in the first few years of my life, brought deep shame on me, and set me up for further victimization later.

All of these things triggered nightmares and confusion. Eventually, when I could take it no more, I blocked those years completely so that I would not remember the details again until many years later.

The year I turned six, we moved to Canada…. A new world… a new future… a better life.

…To Be Continued….

© Trudy Metzger

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Sexual Abuse & Violence: A Few Unpopular Thoughts (Part 4)

(…Continued…)

Homosexuality is not Sexual Abuse, within the context of Childhood Sexual Abuse, but it is the abuse of sexuality, according to God’s original plan and intent. And, since I have shared some thoughts from the perspective of the church’s response, I want to speak to the other side.

When I addressed it previously, I pretty much gave a free ride to the homosexual subculture, and a ticket to scream ‘I’m a victim of the church’ and blame childhood experience for choosing the lifestyle later. That was not my intended message, and that’s not a good place to leave it. Not for the church or the sub-culture.

It’s unlikely that the larger percentage of those who choose the gay/homosexual lifestyle would cash in on that ride or that ticket. To do so would violate one core ‘argument’ they present–that they were ‘born this way’ and can’t help it. And one of their most famous questions, if not the most famous, is, ‘If God hates homosexuality, why does He create homosexuals?’

The answer is less complicated than it may seem. God doesn’t create homosexuals. He creates human beings with sex drives. How we each choose to manage that sex drive, in spite of childhood experience and the church’s failings, is entirely up to us.

A little personal ownership, regardless of temptations we face, would eliminate that question. But, in today’s world, ownership and responsibility are bad words–with way too many letters to be effective, in my opinion. (It’s the last thing that comes to mind when I stub my toe.)

The tragic impact of sin has left our bodies imperfect, it has scarred our spirits and our minds.  And I certainly don’t profess to have all the answers on a theological or scientific front. I do know that an entire ‘movement’ or subculture turning to homosexuality is not a scenario worthy of the excuse of being born that way. It’s a movement, a rebellion. If that were not the case, why this sudden flood of people claiming it in an era when it is given so much power? We are being fed lies, and a desensitized generation is being drawn in.

Making excuses for sin, and  not taking ownership for personal choices and behaviours, is one of the biggest curses of all times, and it dates back to the Garden of Eden, to Adam’s first sin. Granted, Adam didn’t say ‘I was born this way’, the popular excuse today. But he used an excuse that showed the same lack of ownership, “God, this woman You gave me…” Either way, it is avoiding accountability for personal choices and responsibility.

That is where I stand, based on God’s word, and a little logic takes me to the same conclusion. Embracing the homosexual lifestyle is a choice. And, since sexuality is more spiritual than physical, to surrender to the lifestyle is to surrender to a spirit, or spirituality, that is at war with God.

Biblically, there is no other conclusion on the matter, that I can come to. Without apology, I embrace God’s Word as the final authority on all matters.

What then, is the answer? We are called to love with grace, and take a stand against sin, to confront it in fellow believers (Matthew 18), and judge sin without judging the sinner. What does this look like? How do we live it?

The ‘how’ of this is pretty personal, but Jesus does give some direction in Matthew 18:15-17. He instructs us to go directly to the person caught in sin, and confront the sin, one-on-one. If they repent, we leave it there. If not, we go to leaders and confront again. If the individual does not repent, then leaders are to expose the sin and we are to view them as we would anyone else who does not know Christ—as someone who needs Jesus. Those who are unrepentant should still be loved.

The person in sin may well become angry and declare you to be ‘intolerant’ and abusive, because they don’t want to deal with their own hearts. Even so, we are required to walk in love, and live in obedience to God, even if we are hated for it.

Note: for the most outstanding message ever preached on Homosexuality, visit Woodside Bible Fellowship and search the Archives Here for ‘Homosexuality‘. Kirk Durston preaches with grace and truth in a way that is seldom heard. A very touching message.

© Trudy Metzger 2012

For more thoughts on this topic, if you are new to my blog: Sexual Abuse & Violence a few Unpopular Thoughts Part 2

Return to 1st post in Sexual Abuse Series