A reader’s response: “One young boy’s hell”, And Paul Yoder’s “The Silent Curtain”

TRIGGER WARNING:
The following is difficult to read. But this is the other side of the story. The forbidden words of the ones who suffered at the hands of perpetrators. It is harsh. It is somewhat graphic.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, if we as adults cannot handle knowing this horrific truth, we shouldn’t expect children to walk through this hell in silence. We should be doing everything in our power to stop these atrocities, and not trying to silence those who cry out. And never, never should we be caught looking the other way, casually doing life, while this goes on.

The gentleman who wrote the following is also conservative Anabaptist, with a veiled wife…. for those to whom that makes a difference. He understands both the culture and the horror of victims.

***

ONE YOUNG BOY’S HELL

Trudy, I penned the following response to “Haiti: A concerned Anabaptist’s letter & my response“, but soon realized that I had better run it by you before posting… if you think there is any value in sharing a testimonial like this, please feel free to do so. If so, would you please share anonymously? If this is too rough to share, I respect that.

“…the biggest loser of all is the person that you are negative about the most, Jeriah Mast…

This statement is disgusting and shocking, causing in me at first sheer disbelief that the person is serious, followed by deep anger. Yes, I want to be ‘respectful’ to the person that penned this, but have to admit that when angry I wish for a split second that people like this could just have a taste of the devastation that being raped causes… to see how absolutely asinine and ignorant their words are. While all rape is bad, there are dynamics that come into play when a boy is raped by a man that are tragic in a very unique way.

I remember a 12 year old child being told when performing oral to “try not to spill a drop” then looking at the gun sitting on the dashboard of the pickup. At 12 years old, learning the best positions to take that make the pain of anal penetration most bearable, finding ways to sit in class later without sitting funny so that peers didn’t suspect you were being raped anally.

I remember that same boy hitting puberty, and the confusion he has when he realizes that he is an expert at gay sex, but has not so much as held hands with a girl. As he thinks this through, his very confused and trauma-foggy mind concludes he must therefore be gay, leading to an adolescence filled with seeking to answer the question as to whether he is gay.

Imagine the self-worth of this young boy as his parents take him to a counsellor to “fix him”, but don’t continue because “it is too expensive, insurance wont cover it”.

By 14, with this sexual violence having continued for a year and a half, and all of these issues raging in the adolescent’s mind, he turns to alcohol, drugs and illicit sex to try and ease the mental anguish, to drown the raging hate that has filled his heart against the perpetrator and against those who should have protected him.

Imagine this adolescent at 16 with a driver’s license and a car, drinking himself to blackout 200 nights per year, yet still driving home.

Imagine this teen, in his sober moments, fixating on finding the evil man and killing him, but only after torturing him. And consider that this idea isn’t a fantasy, but is something that would have happened had the teen run across the man again.

Imagine this young man, who had straight A’s in school up until the ongoing rapes, all of a sudden failing every subject in every grade – completely failing grade 7, grade 8, grade 9, and grade 10. Finally the guidance counsellor tells the young man as he enrolls into grade 11, “you’re nothing but trouble, you’re a waste of our time. You don’t belong here. Why don’t you just drop out of school? You’re old enough to drop out if you want.”

Imagine how the youth now feels, with the school giving up on him, and in fact now all of society looks at him as a worthless, dangerous young man who seems destined to spend his life behind bars. The same way the young man now also feels about himself.

Imagine this young man, after dropping out of school, drinking 20 to 30 beer a night to drown the pain. When drunk he acts like he has a death wish, becoming aggressive, getting into fights that he cannot win, fighting huge men, fighting 5 to 10 men at once. He does anything to try and escape the mental pain, unable to process the past, and painfully aware that he has lost his childhood, adolescence, and has zero hope for the future. At 21, this young man is keenly aware that he will not be alive for long, given the fights, the black-out drinking, the reckless devil-be-damned life.

This is only a small sliver of my personal experience.

As a teen, I was driven with the overwhelming desire to catch this man and get even with him, make him pay. And believe me, had I found this man in my late teens or early 20’s, I would have taken my revenge, even if it meant spending the rest of life in prison.

So when I read Mr. Yoder’s sentence that says, “…the biggest loser of all is the person that you are negative about the most, Jeriah Mast”,

I feel that anger again. I remember the pain, loss, desperation, confusion. I remember like it was yesterday how the man used my mouth, used my anus. How he scared me into not telling anyone. And I just cannot accept that a man can be so unaware of the cost to the victim… so wrong, so ignorant, so unaware of the lifelong cost that the victim of rape pays.

Even as born a again Christian father, the experience worked its way into my life, and for years I consciously dealt with it, over and over, and over again.

(Name Withheld)

***

A year ago this month I first met the gentleman who wrote this. He reached out to offer support and encouragement in what was then a rather hellish experience for me. His kindness and wisdom was one of the ‘kindnesses of God’ in my life at that time, and my respect for him has deepened as time went on.

With time he shared that he had been abused. But this is the first I heard his story and the extent of his suffering. I had slipped out to run some errands yesterday and checked my messages in the parking lot.

I began to weep. This is the story of many a little boy, many a little girl. Most never tell it so graphically, nor is that always necessary. But every now and then this harsh truth must be told.

God forbid that anyone would judge this young man harshly. And God forbid that we would be so deceived as to believe it is the offender who suffers most, or loses most… At least in the way that is often presented to guilt trip someone into silence.

Maybe the offenders do lose most, in the end, because they lose themselves somewhere in that process. But it certainly is not the doing of those speaking out, that such loss happens. It is the direct result of unspeakable crimes committed, often in the name of God or the guise of relationship with him.

God forbid that we would silence this cry, or shy away from the horrible and uncomfortable truth. And, worse yet, somehow make the offender the victim when silence no longer works.

***

This blog was ready for posting when a friend sent me a link to a post by Paul Yoder regarding the case of Jeriah Mast and Christian Aid Ministries (CAM). I do not know Mr. Yoder’s connection with the Anabaptist community, or whether he is still part of it, but his words (I am hearing) are bringing hope and healing to victims within.

He ends the post with the following very blunt thoughts:
You must recognize that these are not only sins but crimes, heinous crimes, crimes on the level of murder. For a preacher, pastor, or counselor to decide that the criminal shows enough regret that they won’t be reported to law enforcement simply makes no sense. They have absolutely no authority to make that decision. No good can come from harboring these people and protecting them and their secrets.

Will it change? I pray that it will. When I look at my young children, I can’t help thinking of the horrors that many children their age suffer with no way out. The young victims’ innocence, emotional health, and even physical health are all destroyed by evil people who are protected by a religious system. I feel indignation, disgust, and anger that institutions, doctrines, and a way of life are more important than the individuals within those systems.

If the Amish and Mennonite communities are not willing to protect their weakest and most vulnerable members, then they deserve to be dismantled and become a thing of the past. If, on the other hand, they use this opportunity to evaluate themselves and their beliefs and practices, then this can be a golden opportunity to make things better than they have ever been.”

Here is a link to his blog: The Silent Curtain.

***

November 2, 2019, we have a day set aside to acknowledge the crimes of sexual violence in our Anabaptist culture at THE GATHERING.  It is exclusively for survivors of sexual abuse, and their trusted support persons. Anyone over 18 who sexually assaulted someone – whether child or other adult – is not welcome. This does not mean they are not forgiven if they have repented. It means victims should not fear being confronted with the source of their trauma on such a vulnerable day. Security guards will be present to remove any who show up and are identified by victims. (More information for potential attendees is available under THE GATHERING Registration and for non-attendees at THE GATHERING Information.

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

 

PS. Plans are coming together for the next two trips, to take place shortly. Thank you to all who have donated.

If you are able to contribute to Generations Unleashed and our work, you may send funds (via PayPal or e-transfer) to info@generationsunleashed.com. Or visit Generations Unleashed

 

© Trudy Metzger 2019

Haiti: A concerned Anabaptist’s letter & my response

A concerned Anabaptist sent the following message, but used an email that cannot be replied to, and my response to him bounced. Therefore I will respond here in the public domain:

Name: JAY YODER

Email: anonman030612@gmail.com

Website:

Subject:: HAITI

Comment: Trudy

I simply want to pass on my condolences to you. Just in skimming over your blog posts, I see a cynical, embittered person who is desperately lashing out at people. I truly sympathize with you because in your frantic attempts to condemn all people that may differ in their views from your own, the true motives of your heart are revealed. You have much less interest in helping anybody than you do in simply swiping and clawing and hurting all the names involved in this situation. There are no winners in this situation, Trudy, and the biggest loser of all is the person that you are negative about the most, Jeriah Mast. Why in the all-is-forgiven worldview that you endorse is there no room for forgiveness for people whom you decide are wrong?

I challenge you to do this: For the next 24 hours, when you think about this situation, pray fervently for Jeriah Mast as if he would be your son. Instead of blindly condemning him and all of us despicable Anabaptists, pray for him as if he would be a person that looks like you do and shares your worldview. If you can do this, I believe that your heart can rest from it’s current misery. You have no idea what kind of pain this situation is causing and your blatantly condemning remarks will not in any way ease anybody’s pain. May your bitterness find rest and peace that only God can provide

***

Dear Mr. Yoder,

Thank you for your Christian concern. Most of what you have written requires no response, as it is clearly your anger lashing out. What level of knowledge you have of the present situation I do not know. I will leave that and your anger between you and God.

It may be of interest to you that I do not know the people involved in this situation. There is no reason for me to be “swiping and clawing and hurting all the names involved in this situation”. My involvement has come at the request of Anabaptists who care for the victims.

As for considering how I would feel if it was my son… I would be devastated. That, however, would not change what is the right thing to do. I urge you to consider if it was your children who were raped, how you would feel about giving such a person access again and accepting a fourth ‘repentance’ as trustworthy and the ‘all clear’. … or your grandchildren, depending on what stage of life you are in.

As for my ‘all-is-forgiven’ views. You are right, I do believe that God is generous in His grace and forgiveness. Whether Jeriah Mast is repentant and forgiven or not is entirely between him and God. Whether he is allowed to continue the crimes of the past 23 years is the responsibility of many. Some of us have taken that responsibility seriously. I offer no apology for this.

“All is forgiven” does not mean there are not consequences for crimes. It would be arrogant of Christians to believe they can murder, steal, rape children and expect no legal ramifications.

We have a crisis of offenders continuing to molest children under the guise of ‘all is forgiven’. Many Anabaptists agree with this, and openly reject teachings that cause this, as they have watched countless family members and friends molested by repentant abusers. Many Anabaptists also take a firm stand against abuse, and the silence that accompanies these situations too many times.

It is concerning when, repeatedly, as in this case, the concern is not for the countless victims, but rather protecting the offender to whom you say I have done greatest damage and made “the biggest loser of all”.  That, my friend, is one of the biggest contributors to the problem we have at hand. I would suggest that the offender who violates countless children is responsible for his own loss when finally someone has the courage to confront such evil and ensure it is not just another repentance that allows the crimes to continue.

Exposing evil is not harmful. According to Ephesians 5:8-13, it is the thing that makes freedom possible. All harm is brought on the offender and his/her loved ones by his/her own doing. Responsibility for that harm does not fall on the one who points out that evil.

It is my prayer that transformation will come on many levels, and children be protected.

I wish you peace,

Trudy

***

To my Anabaptist friends, prayer warriors, and family who stand for justice,

I don’t need to tell you this if you are on that list who stand for justice, but I want you to know that I do not believe the vast majority of Anabaptists accept the ‘forgive and forego accountability’ mindset.

Thank you to those who stand for truth and justice, while still extending freely the incredible grace of God. While offering forgiveness to the repentant, you also expect accountability and compliance with the laws of the land. While honouring leaders, you do not bow to corrupt power.

Thank you for the countless messages, prayers, phone calls, and encouragement. Thank you to those who have made donations as well, so that our work can continue. Your kindness will not be forgotten.

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

***

PS. Plans are coming together for the next two trips, to take place shortly. Thank you to all who have donated.

If you are able to contribute to Generations Unleashed and our work, you may send funds (via PayPal or etransfer) to info@generationsunleashed.com. Or visit Generations Unleashed.

 

© Trudy Metzger 2019

HAITI: Stanley Fox Issues Statement & One Victim’s Response

EDIT: I am being contacted with assumptions that I am retracting my statement that Stanley Fox knew since 2016/2017.  I am not retracting my previous concerns. His apology states that he knew. Therefore, because his statement confirms my evidence He only identified it as homosexuality and wasn’t concerned enough to pull a worker for it. I said I appreciate his apology, and I do. It does not change the fact that he knew and did nothing. Why would a troubled young man approach a pastor about Jeriah, if it was consensual relationship? Why would that not alert a pastor to find out what is going on?

***

Several people sent me links to Stanley Fox’s Apology Statement last evening. I was out with a friend for a few hours and didn’t see it until late. He has my respect of ‘stepping out of the lineup’ to speak without a lawyer and without permission. He is the first to do this in this mess.

Stanley Fox

I said to several other leaders this past week that if even one would have the integrity to step forward and say, “We knew…. I am sorry… And, for the record, Trudy is telling the truth,” that would go a long way. This is closer to that than I expected to see. I don’t need them to say for my sake that I’m telling the truth.

People are messaging, encouraging me to reach out to Christian Aid Ministries (CAM) to work with them regarding other allegations that have come forward, and at least practice Matthew 18. (My question is “which part of Matthew 18?” Mostly I assume they’re not talking about the millstone verse and the part that says the angels of a child are always before the face of God). Personally, I think Matthew 18 is applied too much like a bandaid on a heart attack, making it a perfect tool for keeping things hidden that should be brought to light. And like the heart attack, it’s killing the church.

To work in any level of ‘togetherness’ there first needs to be transparency – this apology is a huge leap forward, and comes on the heels of the Public Statement by CAM. There also needs to be a common goal of not keeping the church, the public and donors in the dark. And, finally, it requires giving victims a voice in this.

For this reason, before posting this link to Mr. Fox’s apology I reached out to one of the victims who made me aware on Monday that Mr. Fox also knew, to get his feedback. He was gracious and appreciative, but with some unanswered questions.

His response was:
It rises a few questions but I am happy he made it. That is the person he has make people in Haiti believe he was. […] If he, initially in 2013, thought he was sent back to the US for homosexuality, who did Jeriah confessed to then? as a pastor that has served on campus at the same time as Jeriah, what have he done to find out the whole truth, they had many accountability meetings? So for him, it’s ok for someone that was sent home for homosexuality to come back and serve? I don’t think he would teach that. […] Also, it is confusing for a victim to know Stanley knew (at least in 2017), and didn’t do much to help the victims heal (He talked to name redacted about forgiveness once and prayed with him, in that meeting. He never said a word to me about such a thing), or to make sure Jeriah wasn’t doing it to any other kids and at the same time say that he cares/ love the wonderful people of Haiti. It makes us scratch our heads.

Screen Shot 2019-06-22 at 12.08.05 AM

I’m glad it meant something to the victim. That in spite of his questions about the message this sends regarding homosexuality being acceptable on the mission field, when it is taught against so strongly.

This doesn’t negate Mr. Fox’s apology. It simply raises deep theological questions for the conservative Mennonite groups who punish harshly those who become sexually active, engage in heterosexual relations outside of marriage (albeit with significant grace for adultery and child molestation).

This argument that it was believed to be consensual homosexual relationships has come up repeatedly, so my response here now moves away from his apology. I am truly thankful he spoke out, and respect his willingness to stick out his neck.

Thank you for that, Mr. Fox.

***


Youth of the church are rising to attention and asking the same questions this young man asks. They, who have been disciplined, forced to confess sexual immorality when caught. Youth who see a double standard, based on class, power, connections and various other influences. Youth who have been ‘shunned’ (informally) for clothes being not quite right. For listening to the wrong music. Youth, whose parents funded CAM through this (and, again, CAM has done many wonderful things), and who now defend those who knew and did nothing.

These youth are not dumb. They see through the hypocrisy. Ruled with an iron thumb, some of them, they watch as this unfolds with excuses, as thousands rise up to defend the organization, as leaders say no one knew (besides a few). They watch as it surfaces that there were blatant signs, not only of sexual sin, but bold crimes. Signs that no one pursued. And yet it was the whisper of a rumour that landed them before the congregation to confess kissing and making out? Or, God forbid, got the girl pregnant.

The one thing many thousands are asking for is transparency. The other thing is consistency. If homosexuality is not a big deal here, then it better no longer be the thing we preach against and condemn others for. If our position on it has changed, then it is time to apologize to the homosexuals whom we have bullied, shamed and excommunicated when they came out, or even reached out for help.

If that is not our position, then we have to confess to inconsistency and repent before God.

God forbid that we simply hope this goes away. It won’t. The world of conservative Anabaptism has forever changed, and it will never be able to return to what it was. Our 6/10 is the 9/11 that changed the world forever.

And, God forbid that our response to this be the thing that drives the children of yesterday and tomorrow away from the heart of God.

Such life-altering events demand a response.

There is only one response that will have the desire we all long for. Repentance. Deep, deep repentance.

We can grieve.

We can be angry; “be angry and sin not”… “Don’t sin in your anger” assumes anger is part of life. “Let not the sun go down on your anger” assumes anger but gives instruction to not let it control us. So we can be angry. Angry at the men who knew and looked the other way. Angry at Jeriah for assaulting children. Angry at Trudy for speaking out…. because this really does hurt, and if this hadn’t been spoken out…

So we can hurt. Hurting is honest.

We can weep.Tears are inevitable in our suffering.

But, in the end, if we want God to move we must repent.

Not only three men who knew and did nothing. Yes, them too please. But not only. We, as a culture have enabled this kind of thing. There are systemic factors that allowed this to happen.

Those who understand this will rise to repentance. And those who repent will go deeper. They will be instrumental in revival.

Revival cannot come without repentance.

We have prayed for revival, but we kick and scream when God invites us to the brokenness from which revival flows.

***

***

Plans are coming together for the next trip to take place shortly. Thank you to all who have donated. We have a ways to go, but it’s coming together

If you are able to contribute, and willing to do so, you may send funds (via PayPal or etransfer) to info@generationsunleashed.com. Or visit Generations Unleashed.

 

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2019

Of Gnats & Camels: 2012 or 2013? And the Amish Steering Committee’s Role in the Jeriah Mast, Haiti, CAM Case

Seems there’s a lot of Christians straining their water these days, to avoid choking on gnats, while swallowing camels whole. (What wise man said that again?) And, what were His words just before using satire to make His point? “Woe to you Scribes and Pharisees”… He then calls out on tithing even on their spices, but adds, “[you] have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone. 24 Blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel…”

It turns out that me being told that Jeriah was sent home in 2012 is a serious stumbling block to Christians, that I would lie like that. It seems elementary, but let me inject here that having a jot or tiddle out of place, I mean, having the date wrong – and that because I was told the wrong date … by one of the men who knew and did not report – is not known as lying. It is known as “Oops, Harold wasn’t quite sure which year it was, and Trudy relayed his imperfect memory.” That kind of nitpicking is the very thing that takes the focus off of helping victims, acknowledging we have a serious problem and dealing with it.

Several have also kindly informed me that I pretty much have it wrong about Jeriah’s early years. It seems to me that testimony of numerous ‘early years’ victims and friend  (from unlinked sources that tell similar stories)… they might actually be worthy of acknowledgement. That said, I said very little about his early years.

As I’ve responded to some, I will state here. I am keenly aware that what I shared is incomplete. Very incomplete. It is my hope that the Mast family, as well as other victims and offenders in the inter-linking scenarios that were excluded will appreciate my reasons for this. My goal here has been to call a religious organization to accountability for egregious errors in judgment in the Haiti victims case, and hopefully prevent this type of violence from continuing against anyone. Especially the impoverished who have no recourse, and depend on the very source of their abuse for  survival.But I will not go further at this time.

My goal here is to sweep up a few gnats I’m told are distracting people from caring for the victims. I don’t really believe gnats do that. I believe some look for excuses to downplay things, for other reasons. But I don’t mind sweeping gnats, just in case. It would be a tragedy to have children being raped and molested be downplayed because I was given a few inaccurate details by key people in the story.

Nitpicking about details to discredit the truth and pretend there isn’t an epidemic shows how willingly we allow abuse to continue.

The Gospels – four authors, four views –  each tell the story of Jesus. Each tell the same stories on several occasions, but tell them differently. This is called ‘perspective’. If we stand by a wall and describe the scenery, the ones facing the bricks will have a very different account (perspective) of what they see than the ones facing the garden.

And the one staring at bird poop on the table… Yeah, that’s a whole ‘n’other perspective completely that no one wants to hear while trying to enjoy dinner.

I think many people are trying to eat dinner right now, as this case unfolds….

canstockphoto24004164

Jesus used an exaggerated scenario to make His point. If I was not as clear, feel free to ask questions.

***

Almost a month ago, when I first heard the Amish Steering Committee was involved in the Jeriah Mast case, I attempted to track down their number. I reached out to Dell Sauder in Pennsylvania, who has many connections and whose wife has Amish background, hoping they would be able to help. I also reached out to friends in Ohio who did some asking around. But the information seemed no where to be found.

Soon after my first blog came out, several people kindly reached out to correct me, saying they were not involved. I requested that they forward my number to the ASC and ask one of the to call me. Another person forwarded a contact number, which I tried immediately, but was not able to get through.

This week, Tuesday I was finally able to speak with one ASC member. I wished I could see his eyes, because phones are limiting that way. However, he was honourable and kind. I learned that what my sources — statements  Jeriah’s immediate family made, which then were forwarded to me out of concern by friends — was not reflective of facts.  I have yet to figure out why his family believed what they believed, but that is theirs to tell truth about. I have this evidence, but will not release it without the permission of those who sent it.

(Note: I released to law enforcement what I felt might be of help to them).

In conversation with the ASC leader I learned the following about them:

  • they’re incredibly respectful to engage with (I sensed no manipulation, only respect)
  • our visions align
  • their purpose is to be a liaison/messenger between law/government and the Amish church
  • they’ve been around in some form for 50-60 years, not only 2.5
  • many of their cases are minors
  • many of their cases have nothing to do with sexual crimes, incest and molestation
    • if they are sexual crimes they are referred to the Restoration Committee
  • they work cooperatively with the law (one ‘evidence item’ said they take the place of the law)
  • they don’t interfere with law to keep offenders out of prison (again, many of their cases are minors)

And I also learned the following about ASC’s involvement in this case:

  • No one contacted the ASC’s State Director for assistance in case
  • someone at Shining Light church got their hands on a Restoration Plan that was drawn up for another offender from a few years ago
  • the church reached out to the Restoration Team to look at the plan
    • the name had been redacted, so they did not know it was for Jeriah Mast
  • Shining Light then asked a Restoration Team member to set up the appointment with law enforcement
  • Family told various people that ASC was involved, and stated that it was to “help avoid consequences” and “do what the law would do”, as well as hold Jeriah accountable
    • This alarmed people who reached out to me.
    • This, the State Director (who is the Amish gentleman I spoke with) is completely inaccurate and not what the ASC is about

The Restoration Committee Role and Purpose:

  • hold everyone accountable when dealing with molestation and other troubled situations and “hold people’s feet to the fire”
  • they guide processes and make sure proper processes are followed
  • draw up restoration plans which are strict accountability plans to be followed
  • offer teaching and education to help recognize abuse, and work toward prevention
  • do NOT assume role of:
    • law
    • CPS
    • Ministry
    • Counsellors
  • they are contacted for help by:
    • law enforcement
    • CPS
    • Church Ministry
    • Counsellors and therapists
    • Individuals needing support in their church community

***

The information came to me via friends of immediate family, but how the family in this case came to believe the information they shared with people, I cannot speak to, nor do I wish to. It may have been a sincere misunderstanding.  These things happen, and in the midst of stress and chaos that is yet more likely.

It is ironic that since my source is those with some of the highest stakes – the family – that I am the liar for repeating their words. (I would say I misunderstood if I did not have evidence).

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. The hate, the lies and all of that, I am not too worried about. If that’s what it takes for this epidemic to be addressed, so be it. I am far more concerned that I stand before God one day and, while imperfectly, have done what He called me to do.

***

What’s next in this case?

The law is doing the thing it is designed to do. I am doing the thing I am called to do, and cooperating with the law in the process. All information that is sent my way, that holds any meaning, I forward to the law. And sometimes I forward what I think is useless but might mean something to them. Charges will be forthcoming, at least for one ‘piece’ of this situation, in the relatively near future, I am told. We will see. That isn’t my part to follow up on.

I continue to interact with the people of Haiti who were impacted, including Jeriah’s victims and those near them. It is hard because of distance, and feeling helpless to do much given the language barriers, but I try to answer their questions and connect them with those who are able to help them navigate the maze of the legal system. (On that note, if anyone reading this knows of a Human Rights Lawyer who would be able to support these victims, that info would be much appreciated. Please send it to me at: Generations Unleashed.

What next for me?

Before this case went public, people were hearing there was a ‘big abuse case’ with an Anabaptist organization, and they reached out to ask what I know. I wasn’t ready to give information much, back then. As a result information trickled in about multiple organizations, in multiple countries. When three or more concerns trickle in, each holding pieces of a story, it is a strong sign that something lies buried.

It is my plan to follow up on these cases if doors open. I am very comfortable letting God open and close doors. If funds come in to cover the costs of travel, I go. If not, I don’t. It’s that simple and that black and white how I determine whether it is meant to be. And I listen to the niggling of caution, that radar for spiritual manipulation that goes off in my inner being, when determining with whom I will partner in these things. And I am thankful to say that there are thousands of conservative Anabaptists offering prayer support and encouragement in this.

I hope to fly out within the next two weeks to confirm details in another case, if funds come in to cover the costs. And if they do not, I will rest in this not being the right time. I am comfortable laying down calling any time God closes doors.

If you are able to contribute, and willing to do so, you may send funds to info@generationsunleashed.com, or visit Generations Unleashed.

My commitment is to walk through the doors God opens. I will not force them. But I will not ignore the open ones. And if they crack open and stay there, I’ve learned that usually, sometimes years later, they swing wide open.

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2019

 

 

 

CAM Releases 2nd Public Statement

Thank you CAM Board of Directors for acting responsibly. I say that understanding that two of the three men who knew of the crimes are on “administrative leave”, pending an investigation into their involvement. This is a reasonable place to start.

I am hopeful that the victims will be acknowledged, and that the truth will continue to surface. In light of the current response by CAM, I will refrain from posting any evidence, for the present, to give CAM time to proactively seek out the evidence available and respond to that evidence.

(Note: I did promise several victims I would share what they wish to communicate, and I will keep my promise to them).

To read the statement, click the photo:
Screen Shot 2019-06-18 at 12.31.47 AM

 

It is my prayer that this will have a powerful impact on the response of my Anabaptist heritage to sexual violence against children, at home and abroad.

May God forgive us all.

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2019

Haiti: Anabaptist Evangelist, Stanley Fox, Knew of Sex Crimes

As of this morning evidence has surfaced that Stanley Fox, of Pennsylvania, knew of the sex crimes committed by Christian Aid Ministries (CAM) staff member since sometime 2016-2017.  In the evidence he admits that he knew and expresses regret at not having done more, that he didn’t think of the law at all, or even know what Haiti laws are on the matter. He thought the matter was taken care of, he says, [EDIT: referring to working with the victims to forgive. There was no action taken to remove Jeriah permanently from the mission field. As of yet, there has been no public acknowledgement. Nor was this admission produced by Mr. Fox; this surfaced as a result of exposure].

[EDIT TO CLARIFY: As of yet there has been any retraction of CAM’s misleading public statements, nor have any of these men publicly renounced that statement to tell the truth. That said, I just received word moments ago that a statement is forthcoming, though I don’t know when, exactly].

Personally, I do not know Mr. Fox, though I have heard the name. I am told he is a highly revered evangelist in USA and abroad, and that he leads CAM’s Biblical Discipleship Program (BDP) in Haiti, and branching beyond. (Also, I listened to his December 2018 Christmas message, and must admit, I could listen to him preach for days on end. He is dynamic, no question there! Click photo to listen to the audio.) And, certainly he was a highly respected leader connected with CAM, and is seen as “the face of CAM” by the people of Haiti. If you click the link, at 17 seconds in they mention that “Anabaptist pastors from the States are recruited to teach these life-changing three week seminars, on the subjects of: Old Testament foundations, Repentance, Moral Integrity, Marriage, Church Leadership, and more...”

Screen Shot 2019-06-17 at 3.23.20 PM

Having taught these things, to see the leaders not living them, and not standing for truth when such failure took place *on his watch* , has sent ripples of shock and devastation through Haitian communities. One of Jeriah’s victims said they would like to see all who knew, resign, since they cannot live the Gospel they taught all these years.

It saddens me that so many leaders knew and decided ‘it was taken care of’, simply by encouraging victims to forgive. Please, spare us the argument that ‘he didn’t know the details, or he didn’t know it was ongoing’. Others were sent home — and this information comes to me from one of their own — for pornography, heterosexual sexual interactions between two adults, and other similar stories… after *one* confession, with no hope of returning. Yes, repeat offences and repeat confessions of ‘moral failure’ is met with an invitation to return?

Some victims reached out numerous times to different people over the course of several years, and were always brushed aside. ‘Until you, no one cared. No one listened to our story,’ is a message I keep hearing from the victims. And now that it is out in the open, they thank me that truth is finally acknowledged, but they add that they are in danger and have been threatened (not by the missionaries), so that they now live in fear.

As of the present, we have Harold Herr on record saying that he was told in 2012. We have him stating he sat face-to-face with Eli Weaver and told him at around that time. [I am told by a reliable source] there is a email evidence – or at least was, if it has not been destroyed – that Paul Weaver and Eli Weaver interacted on the matter around 2012. And now we have record of Stanley Fox admitting he knew several years ago. On top of that, now others in USA who know some of those involved have come forward and admitted this was known beyond that small circle.

Also this morning I learned that Stanley Fox is one of the individuals allegedly being recruited or considered for returning to Haiti to help the victims. This in the midst of some Haiti victims asking for his resignation.

Having learned that yet another top official knew, if I were in a position to advise Haiti right now, I would close the door to any new CAM-chosen missionaries, counsellors or aid workers to enter the country. And that would include deporting anyone who knew and covered. The first thing I would do is go to CAM and start interviewing and finding out who knew, and who didn’t. It would be a very forthright interview, with no beating around the bush.

Frankly, now that I know Harold Herr of LIFE Literature (LL) is being advised to lawyer up, I have no confidence that truth is of particular interest. (CORRECTION: While in Haiti I was told that LL is an extension of Life Ministries. However, I received a message stating that it became a completely separate entity some time after Lester Miller’s death. [I was sent a date of  Jan 6, 2014, which I have been informed is inaccurate, therefore I have corrected this information]. Of interest may be that Earl Fox, Stanley’s brother, is LL’s chairman). Therefore, I’d go to LIFE Literature and do a bit of investigating there too. Lay staff who knew [and did nothing], get deported. Top officials who knew, would stand trial, along with Jeriah.

Next I would find those missionaries who knew and did the right thing – helping this thing come to light and then reaching out to victims – and I would ask them to help screen and bring in missionaries.

I certainly wouldn’t trust the Keepers of Dark Secrets to suddenly become the Warriors of Truth and Righteousness, or to recruit those who would expose corruption.

However, I am not an advisor for Haiti. So Haiti will need to navigate this criminal mess against one of the largest USA Christian relief work organizations – making the Forbes top 100 Charity list numerous times. It is not an easy thing to enter a legal battle. And it is even worse when you are up against religious people who are lawyered up.

And while they hire lawyers and avoid Haiti law — even while stating publicly they are cooperating with the law — some of the victims in Haiti are receiving death threats (again, as previously stated, not from missionaries). There really is no justice among ‘God’s people’ when this is how they respond

I wish Haiti and the victims of Jeriah Mast’s crimes the best in the effort to deal with this crime, and pray for favour on them.

#iStandWithHaiti
#iStandWithVictims
#AslanHasHeard

***

Visit the link to read about the proposed “ANABAPTIST SEX OFFENDER WATCH LIST

***

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2019

 

Haiti: Sex Trafficking? Anabaptist Sex Offender Watch Lists & Pastors Admit to Broad Leadership Corruption

ANABAPTIST SEX OFFENDER WATCH LIST:

This week I’ve thought a lot about how to address the thing of missionaries in our Anabaptist culture going to other countries, and then molesting children there. (Yes, I realize it happens in other cultures too. But I don’t work in those cultures). I don’t know the rates and percentages, but knowing the vast number of offenders who go unchallenged, and unreported, and then hearing the news of Jeriah Mast’s crimes in Haiti, I find no comfort in sending missionaries. No, I don’t think most of our men and women are offenders, but the rates are higher than many admit to. And too many of them are especially interested in ‘doing the Lord’s work’ where they are most sure they won’t be spotted. To allow it to continue seems, at least to me, to be a form of sex trafficking. Since it is almost impossible to get offenders in our culture to stand trial, let alone on a sex offender registry, there is no protection. And if we include leaders who enable and look the other way, even better.

As I hear of counsellors and support people being sent to help those who were victimized by Jeriah, I am concerned that opportunistic child molester will be more than happy to give their time. Such a list would hopefully make every child molester across our Anabaptist churches especially disinterested in mission work, if they knew they were marked going in. And leaders who land on the list as looking the other way would hopefully think twice as well.

As I contemplated this, an idea struck me. If we all work together, we can create a Watch List of our own TO SHARE WITH HAITI GOVERNMENT and other countries, so they can flag potential high risks missionaries. Since the American and Canadian governments leave Anabaptists to more or less deal with their own people’s crimes (ie; Amish Steering Committees, Crisis Intervention Committees etc.), why can’t we also create our own version of the sex offender registry, through an OFFENDER WATCHLIST focusing specifically on child molesters?

Other than law enforcement and government officials, to whom the list would be voluntarily sent, the list would not be available to the public, or anyone outside the team managing it. It would be up to the country to investigate and interrogate the individual upon entering or attempting to enter their country. 

That in mind, I am appealing to every victim out there to send in the name of every person over age *16 who sexually molested you when you were a minor (excluding states/provinces where minors must be protected until age 18). Please include both male and female offenders and send the information to: REPORT ANABAPTIST SEX OFFENDERS, with a subject line of “Anabaptist Sex Offender Watchlist“.

UPDATE: Someone has reached out to suggest we form a team to manage the list. I am reaching out to a medical doctor and several other professionals to seek such support. 

NOTE: Please do not send ‘speculation’ cases. There must be at least one confirmed victim, and the victim(s) must be willing to confirm. Send cases only if you are the victim, or the victims’ immediate family or if the victim has requested you send the info. Only credibly accused will make the list, and the more information that is included, the more credible. Vague, rumour-based accusations with no specific information will not be included. (Church confessions to ‘immoral failure’, in which the deviance is known to be against a child, is not speculation. That’s about as solid evidence as gets produced in our culture).

In the body of the email copy and paste the following and fill in all information, especially what has asterisks:

  1. Name of offender:
  2. Gender of Offender:
  3. *Citizenship of Offender:
  4. Date (or year) of offence:
  5. Offender’s church at time of offence: 
  6. Was the offender a church/ministry leader (YES/NO):
  7. If yes, what was the name of the church/ministry:
  8. * Is offender currently in leadership:
  9. If yes, what church/ministry:
  10. *Age of offender at time of offence: 
  11. *Age of victim at time of offence:
  12. *Offence committed (ie: rape; molestation etc):
  13. *Any confirmed current minor victims (YES/NO):
  14. *State/Province & Country of offence:
  15. Reported to law YES/NO:
  16. Handled by (Church Discipline/Law/Both):
  17. Name of church leader(s) who knew:
  18. Address of church leader (if known):
  19. Approximate age of church leader (DOB if known):
  20. *Name of church:
  21. Address of Church:
  22. *Church Affiliation (Eastern; BMA; Charity etc):
  23. Any additional information that may be helpful:

NOTE: Include ministry leaders (male and female) and counsellors who engage or have engaged in practices of ‘holding’ – whether heads lying on laps, sitting on laps or other physical touch, massaging etc – as these are not safe for working with vulnerable individuals.

Since  leaders who look the other way are as dangerous as the offenders themselves, I have included information on them. We will take the information, create a list and release it to the Haitian government, as well as other countries where missionaries tend to exploit children including Guatemala, Mexico, Romania, Thailand, Cambodia, and any other country that is interested. This will allow them to flag these individuals, and keep them out of their countries.

We will make it clear which cases have been proven guilty by law, which ones were handled by church, and which ones are allegations with neither law or church discipline.

If you know of church leaders or leaders of other ministries who have covered up, or are ‘looking the other way’, please send them through. (The victim should not be named if you are not free to disclose).

All cases involving minors will be reported to the law. The list is available to law enforcement internationally and in the state/country crimes took place.

Emails sent to this address are managed by volunteers, and messages that are not on topic are not guaranteed a response. Hate mail will be deleted. Threats will be forwarded to authorities.

Offenders who would like to report themselves and get support, will be responded to. We have connections with several gentlemen who offended in the past who are willing to help you navigate the process of taking full ownership and walking you through genuine repentance. I am willing to help also, as needed, and support you and these gentlemen in the process.

Together we can stand in the gap and stop the exploitation of children.

Please be aware: I will be sending in the name of every leader (this includes some ASAA leaders) involved in the cover up and dreadful handling last year’s case, related to David Denlinger, and giving access to the evidence I hold of such mishandling. Not one leader, to date, has had the integrity to own their wrongs and the gaslighting. I will not stand by and watch them get sent to other countries until  such a time as that issue is resolved and full ownership taken for the mishandling, gaslighting and leaving the victims unacknowledged to this day.

***

CHURCH LEADER CORRUPTION:

There is a network of people in our Anabaptist communities who are skilled at keeping truth tightly ‘managed’, and sex offenders carefully protected.  They know each other, and they work together. Make of that what you will.

Oh, and some are very ‘nice guys’, so don’t go imagining it’s all the ultra conservative ones. It’s not. Most are the charismatic, people-drawing ones.

In the middle of that, this week pastors and their wives across multiple ‘brands’ of our Anabaptist culture reached out. They are weary. It is a lonely place to serve, and knowing which leaders to trust is difficult, when they feel surrounded by wolves. Yes, they are saying those things. How can they connect with other like-minded leaders who love Jesus and want to serve the people, rather than be dominated by power-mongers?

My dilemma is this, I am happy to be here to support you as leaders in whatever way I can. But the truth is there is only one way to find each other, and that is by you each boldly taking a stand. Some leaders who reached out have already resigned due to corruption. Others see the corruption of power and feel helpless to influence change, having watched how the power was taken.

Church, we have a problem.

This is not the Jesus Way.

Leaders, I urge you to stand against the wolves among us at all cost. Do so wisely and thoughtfully, but do so. Leave, if you cannot walk in truth among them. Confronting them rarely works. (Which does not mean that you should not, but be forewarned that you will be stripped). They will get up on Sunday morning and go into lengthy manipulative speeches about your divisive spirits, about how your are in rebellion and sowing discord. They will shame you and make it look like they love truth.

I have received messages – including audio recorded evidence – from California to Florida, to my little corner of the world, of how such leaders attack their people when you try to confront them. What I’ve stated is not even the tip of that iceberg. They are bullies. They are abusive. They care about image. And they care about themselves and their power.

Church members and attendees, I urge you to be aware. Be discerning. Watch for the signs. And be there for the wounded. These leaders are leaving trails of (spiritual) corpses in their wake. Watch for those ‘corpses’ and don’t by the ‘he’s just divisive’ line. Any time that is used in relation to a wounded person in the care of the leader speaking is a great time to lean in and hear the wounded.  It’s a sign the leader is spiritually abusive.

And if they’re throwing around the Jezebel line.. it’s pretty much a given, that you are dealing with an abuser. I’ve not met one man or woman who flings that term around who isn’t spiritually abusive. It’s a glorified way of demonizing people so they can be dismissed, and especially to silence the voices of godly women. And it’s demonic. It’s certainly not biblical.

***

CLARIFICATION ON BLOG RELEASED JUNE 13, 2019, REGARDING MR. SHANKSTER:

Some of you have asked for clarification regarding the blog in which Simeon Shankster withdrew from CAM. To read the blog click here: Anabaptist Missionary Takes Stand

They partnered together in various ways; he was not part of CAM.

Mr. Shankster is 100% for reporting sex offenders to the law and not interfering with the legal process. Hence, no nonresistant Christian should interfere with legal justice for the offenders, nor should they try to force it. (He does not agree with my advocacy methods. However, he also does not condemn me as a Christian. We come out at a different biblical understanding on this matter. I would not hesitate to work for the government or the law — apart from the fact that I’m lousy at following politics, and am much too independent a thinker to cow-tow to the system – and Mr. Shankster would not believe that is appropriate. I respect his opinion and understanding. And I most certainly respect him as a man of God).

Mr. Shankster believes “We ought to obey God rather than man” and that for Paul Weaver and Eli Weaver to not speak out about their knowledge (since at least 2012) of Jeriah’s crimes, is unbiblical. This is part of the ‘two kingdom’ doctrine he refers to. Ultimately, lawyer or no lawyer, CAM board of directors or no board of directors, he insists these men owe the public the truth. And at least three of us hold hard evidence of truth.

I have responded based on my personal conversation with Simeon. I have spoken as truthfully and accurately as possible, given my understanding of what he said in our conversation. If he sends any corrections, I will update.

If you have any further questions please send them to: Trudy Metzger.

As always…

With love,
~ T ~

 

© Trudy Metzger 2019

 

Haiti:Anabaptist Pastor/Missionary, Andy Faller, Speaks Out

This morning someone sent me the attached (see link) written by Pastor Andy Faller from Haiti. I’ve never met him, but I recognize truth when I read it, hear it and see it. He has my deepest respect. I chatted with several friends about him and was told he is a very conservative Anabaptist pastor who is obviously ‘breaking rank’ to speak truth publicly.

Please pray for him and his family, for Simeon Shankster and his family, and all those rising up to address the current crisis honourably from inside the culture. We all know that does not happen without a price tag, usually a high one, and usually paid by those speaking truth. May God give them grace and strength.

Read the letter here (or scroll down to images, which may not be as clear): Andy-Faller-Public-letter

My heart is many things this morning. Saddened. Grateful. Broken. Healed. Grieving. Weeping. Rejoicing to see men rise up…. Thankful that Jesus is in this crazy mess, and that he was willing to speak into deception, to show that it can be done.

In over 9 years of working with sex crimes in our Anabaptist communities I have never seen men of God rise up like this publicly and stay standing. I have watched them rise, and then bow to the system, cave to the pressure. I’ve been gaslighted. Lied to. Lied about. That is normal in my line of work.

When the sacred cow gets poked, those who draw milk from her and revere her, without fail, turn to deception and blinding the public. This case is no different on that front.  But this time men are rising up. Standing tall on truth. Refusing to cater to religious politics or protect rank.

In the past few days I’ve sat and stared at hard evidence of things said by those who now declare my blogs are lies. I listen to the audios.  Their words. That is what I wrote about. They are either truth… or they are  lies of the ‘authors’ of the words, whether spoken or written. I try to reconcile this with the cry to forgive, the loud screams (figuratively) — “Trudy is the most wicked woman in all the world! She is evil! She is not a Christian!” — while those declaring these things (and there are many) brazenly lie, and destroy evidence (a bit too late because others have it) that might reveal to the world their lies.

Tell me… Who is God? Who is Jesus? What is truth in a religion such as that?

(No, I’m not broadly painting all Anabaptists. I’m sharing what has happened repeatedly in 9+ years).

Those are the ‘norms’. What is happening this time is not my ‘norm’.

I’ve never watched men rise up and boldly, speak truth without wavering in the crazy of abuse being exposed. And, in this case, even posting publicly what they know is truth. That kind of backbone, and not slipping to jargon about ‘unity’ and making it about everything but the issue at hand … this is a new thing. And I thank God for this day.  I am sorry it took such an extreme situation and such a public exposure to get here. But even this is a thing God is using powerfully.

No, these men don’t align with me. They’ve offered no illusions of such a thing. I’ve had blunt disagreements with at least one. But they stand for truth. And they know truth. So they are rising up, and speaking out.

It gives me hope… Not for myself, because I am not in the conservative Anabaptist system of churches. It gives me hope for healing among them. For the ‘system’ to crumble so that Christ is made stronger. And not just stronger, but central in all things. Because He said, “I am the Truth”, so for Him to be fully alive in us, and fully present in our churches, Truth and truth must take their rightful place.

Today I thank God that men are rising up in truth and in their God-given authority. I bless the men, their wives and their families. I know there are others, there are many, and not all will ever need to take a public stand, but I understand the price attached to such a stand.

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2019

Screen Shot 2019-06-14 at 12.14.04 PM

Screen Shot 2019-06-14 at 12.14.58 PM

HAITI: Conversation with CAM’s Paul Weaver

On Facebook I was advised to call Paul Weaver. Several times, in fact. He is kind and tenderhearted, people said. And I didn’t doubt their sincerity, or that he is. But my questions were not about kindness and tenderheartedness. My questions always have to do with, “Are they honest? Do they care more about truth and victimization than self-preservation and image?” I’ve known many a kind and tender soul, with no commitment to truth, and no backbone to stand for it.

I called yesterday afternoon, and introduced myself. I asked if he knows who I am. He did. He said that, in fact, he and some others are in a meeting in Miami at that very moment with men from Haiti to discuss what can be done for victims.

Opportunity knocked, so I asked if I could make a suggestion. After a slight stumble, he granted I could.

I asked if he can put it on speaker so I can share with everyone at the meeting. He said it would be better if I would just tell him and he would pass it on.

So I said they should start by issuing a public apology for having known for so many years and doing nothing, and for looking the other way. I told him victims’ trust is broken, and they need to hear this from CAM, and so does the public.

I told him victims from Haiti, and parents of adopted children are contacting me, and are glad the truth is coming out, at least part of it, and they hope the rest does.

He asked how they can contact the victims and I said they need to make this a public apology for failing those victims, and for misleading the public with their “Public Statement” released yesterday. I informed him I have a wherein Harold Herr admits they  knew. And that I posted that recording yesterday afternoon.

I have no interest in destroying CAM, I told him; they do much good work and I would like to see that work continue, but not with looking away while pedophiles molest children. That’s got to stop, I told him. I said that their public statement is very misleading because it makes it sound like they just found out when they have known for years.

The thing about being kindhearted and tender is that Jeriah was too. To know and do nothing for years, and then not humbly apologize when destruction is left in the wake of that neglect is not tender and it is not kind.

Haiti, the victims, the public and the church (broadly speaking), not to mention the donors, deserve better.

Jesus calls for fruit in keeping with repentance. When truth is fully disclosed and wrongs acknowledged, the public will know and the chaos will die down. The offender will face his crimes in the country he committed them, before he lets CAM get shut down, and so will the leaders who knew and failed to respond appropriately.

If they care so much about the Haitians and the missionaries, they will agree to lay down their lives for them. They most certainly won’t defy the Haitian government and have the shut down CAM and bring greater suffering.

That is what Jesus called us to; a willingness to lay down our lives for another.

***

NOTE: Victims are still coming forward, in both USA and Haiti. I am honoured and touched to hear your stories, and you are welcome to still send them. However, I would encourage you also to send them to the appropriate official: Ohio Law Enforcement, and make the aware. It is better if they hear directly from you. Alternatively, contact FBI Tips.

***

We have received messages asking how you can support our organization, Generations Unleashed. I will begin by saying we function with very little money. I do not draw a regular wage and make less than $12,000 – usually much less – each year, so it is this and travel/overhead costs. We have a massive network of people to draw from, internationally, and partner with them. We do have expenses, and if you wish to donate, you may do so at Generations Unleashed or by Email.

Others have asked how you can give towards those going to Haiti to meet with victims, attend the court and report back, and above all to find ways to support victims. I am communicating with a medical doctor who is interested in going, as well as another individual, and myself in the near future. (If possible, several will go for the next court hearing, and will bring back a report. I am waiting for a date of that hearing. Due to current health testing and appointments, I may not be able to go, but funds would assist others traveling if I am not able to go). To give to this effort, via PayPal at AslanHasHeard and use subject line “Haiti Victims Support”.

 

As always…

Love,
~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2019