Dear Victim: When Thanksgiving is Lonely & Hard…

This day is about gratefulness, a time of celebration, food and family get-together celebrations. Some of you will laugh, love and party together, in a safe and loving environment. And so you should! Without guilt. Because you are blessed to be with people who care and protect you; your abuser is not a family member, and you look forward to these gatherings.

But for some of you it is a painful day, and you find yourself  ‘giving thanks’ through tears, and loneliness, in the middle of deep trials, trauma and tragedy. It is a day that makes you reach deep for the next breath, through threatening panic, as family drama unfolds, or you find yourself in the room with the person(s) who abused you. Or maybe home, away from family, swallowing hard on yesterdays leftovers in solitary communion, because they have chosen the offender over you. And when you do go, the manipulation and sexual advances are present to this day…

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Today, if that is you, I encourage you to look deeper, not to avoid the pain but to strengthen your heart.

Remember who you are; you are courageous, resilient and redeemed. Remember Whose you are; you are a son, a daughter, of the God of the Universe, held in your Father’s heart. God is intimately present with you and interested in every part of your life. He is not afraid of your raw feelings, and invites you to share them. He is not intimated by your anger; trust Him with it. Remember that you are not defined by the crimes committed against you, or the person(s) who committed them; you are defined by the Love of the Highest Being ever to exist. You have purpose and value.

Draw from that well of truth, drink deep until you are giddy with drunkenness from it. Let them think you are crazy…


~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger

The Things I Am Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

1 Thessalonians 5:18

New King James Version (NKJV)

18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.


This Thanksgiving, next to my love and appreciation for God, I am especially thankful for my husband and our children, who share the most special place in my heart. We have four teenagers and one tween in our house and I’ve never loved life more. Each of our children bring a unique and interesting flavour to our home, to make it what it is and what I love. We have a ‘normal’ home in every way, with spills and spats, laughter and tears, gentleness and moments of anger, intertwined with laughter… and that all blends together to make it ‘our’ home, the place I love on earth, more than any other, and feel safest.

My extended family & friends, the many people in my life who encourage and inspire me to live life with passion and without apology, are high on my ‘thank you’ list as well. Too many to begin to name, I simply thank God for you all. By your lives, your words and your examples, you challenge me to set one foot in front of the other when I am afraid of failure, rejection, or judgement and human nature makes me feel like retreating. You are the people who hold up my arms in battle, when I have grown weary, like Aaron and Hur did for Moses in Exodus 17. Some of you I have known for many years, had coffee with, and know well, others inspire from a distance, having never met, through prayers and notes, often inspired by your own pain and trauma. Thank you for ‘fighting’ the battle with me, through prayer, encouragement and by your example of faith as well as sharing struggles vulnerably. You remind me that there is a place in God’s Kingdom for broken hearts and lives to serve.

In ministry we also have much to give thanks for, not the least of which is having officially been granted our Charitable status, through Generations Unleashed. As doors open to expand our ministry into new areas–both geographically and in ministry–this status is a huge blessing.

Finally, I thank God for the ‘bumps and scrapes’ of this past year. I am thankful that He has redeemed, and will continue to redeem each one of my mistakes and sins, as well as the mistakes and sins of others. I thank Him that He has used the negative experiences and words, that were intended to shut me down and destroy me, to make me stronger in Him. Through them he is teaching me to find my identity only in Him, and to surround myself with leaders who fight for truth rather than protect me from backlash, or protect their own image. God is teaching me to choose wisely what voices I ‘hear’ and allow influence in my life and ministry, with His voice being number one.

It has been a year of challenge, growth and blessing in every area of my life, especially in my faith and trust in God. I look forward with anticipation, to what lies ahead, knowing that the best is yet to come!


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