humanity

A happy Thursday (Edit:…just kidding… it’s Wednesday! this sitting at home thing…!) to you all! What a delight it is to be alive! To see the sunshine, and hear the birds sing! I love these things at any time — and even the snow that many abhor — but especially now, when the world looks upside down. To see that God’s creation still sings and shines, that makes my heart happy!

And I have no doubt that is how Jason and Mel Hunt and their family feel, in Tanzania. A few days ago I shared the story of Jason collapsing, believing he was at the end, only to miraculously revive again. That is one of the best things I had heard in a week or two, so I shared it. I have no regrets about sharing his testimony of unexpected healing. It is truly good news.

My only regret , and there was one… though I don’t like that word, came when friends cautioned that many will take his experience as ‘the cure‘ and act irresponsibly because of it. I had not thought of that, and at first thought my friends were overreacting and their concern not warranted. Especially given I had put in a disclaimer that I was *not* promoting it as a cure, but rather because it seemed to me a story of hope in the midst of tragic times. Nonetheless, I listened to their cautions and edited the post, removing anything that might hint at the experience being touted as a cure.

Others were less gracious and said he is a liar, to declare so boldly he had COVID-19 without test results. My response immediately to that criticism was that this does not make him a liar; it makes him overly enthusiastic.

Then, yesterday toward evening, I received word that test results for COVID-19 came back negative for their family. (Keep his wife and daughter in your prayers. Last I hear, yesterday night, they are still sick and in need of prayer). This means he did not likely have COVID-19 in the first place. The post was causing enough of a stir that I decided to remove it until such a time as I had time to edit out any ‘offending parts’. This is something I have rarely done, but in the interest of avoiding unnecessary offence, I removed the post entirely.

We can somewhat assume the tests are conclusive and he likely did not have COVID-19. But that is not really the bottom line, and his overstatement is not the greatest tragedy in the world.

It is only a tragedy that he was too sure of himself if:

he is not humble enough to learn from it. Otherwise, is is an incredible learning experience, not only for him but for all of us, me included. Or maybe especially me and him, but I think all of us.
the church has no grace for a testimony that is powerful but overly enthusiastic and certain of details that were not relevant to the miraculous outcome. To write off such a profound recovery because the recipient is human — as are we all — is to limit the work of Christ among humans. It means I can only see Him if you are more/less perfect. If I took that approach, given the hell and horror I see in Christian community, I would have turned to atheism long ago.

Before posting the original story I checked into the legitimacy of the claims, and again numerous times since. I added a disclaimer in the original blog, and I would have been wise to edit out any reference to COVID-19. In that I erred. Yet, I had and still have every reason to believe that the story told, happened as told.

In spite of the kerfluffle and humanity of his way of verbalizing it, I am no less amazed by God, and I think no less of Jason for it.

If there is not grace for his humanity, then the church has nothing left to offer the world. Nothing. Because that’s who Jesus is.

I have said many times, there is grace enough for the vilest sinner (including sex offenders) and if they are truly repentant they can receive that grace. I believe that with all my heart. (That does not equate to giving sex offenders free regn under the guise of forgiveness, but that’s another topic for another day).

What has baffled me in this is that it seems there is less grace for a man who is overconfident in a medical self-diagnosis and includes it in his testimony, than there is for the sex offender who sheds a few tears and does not change his ways. Surely, surely, there is grace for both, but especially in a case of ‘intending no harm or sin’ in the process.

I do not regret telling the story. If I did not think we can learn from it, then I would have regrets. I hope and pray that we can see past the humanity and see Jesus at work among us. If we can’t see Him in our collective brokenness, what have we got — what has Jesus got — that will bring any measure of peace and wholeness to us and those around us?

Having removed the original post, here is the portion of his testimony that does not make any assumptions about what his illness was. Praise Jesus!

Last night as I desperately fought for breath to live, I just kept stumbling through the house around the fireplace and kitchen trying to hang on to a measure of breath. The rest were holding me up, crying and praying, (and probably wondering who was going to cart my body out to the coffee field). Finally at 3am I was really fading so wheezed out my goodbyes as I slumped up against the fireplace. I told them no one was to do mouth to mouth on me because I didn’t want the infection to increase in their lungs. As I sat there fading out to everyone’s amazement I got so hot from the fire at my back that I started to sweat buckets and my lungs suddenly started opening up and oxygen came into my lungs. God intervened.

[…]

The improvements over the last few hours has been exponential. Even Mel has made incredible progress. God is intervening.

[…]

I will mention the whole household came down with symptoms today. And the whole household has made exponential gains in the last eight hours. Most are sleeping peacefully now. […] We need to run forth knowing that love will always conquer fear.

[…]

All the prayers are being answered.

*****

My prayer is that you all stay safe and healthy, and if your health has been compromised, that God will heal and restore you.

Remember, God is kind.

As always…

With love,
~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger

I looked to the right, then to the left, and back to the right a second time, then, as I looked, I started to crawl forward. Just as quickly, I slammed on my brakes, my heart rate increasing slightly.

The other driver gave me the look and… oh dear! Was that the birdie? I mumbled an apology out loud, knowing good and well he couldn’t hear me. Still, it seemed appropriate, having nearly caused an accident… again.

My Mazda 3–the cute little car that won my heart with a ‘hug’ when I sat in it for the very first time almost seven years ago–has a blind-spot that has almost cost me more than once. No other vehicle, that I have ever owned or driven, has a blind spot quite as bad.

But blind-spots can be overcome. I learned as child, when my father crashed our station wagon, the importance of that second look to the right. And that second look is the only thing that has spared me crashing in those situations. Only once, that I recall, have I missed it with that second look, and pulled out only to meet the other vehicle in the middle of the road. From that time on, I started taking a bit more time with that second look, pausing an extra second or two. And that is all it takes.

In life, in ministry, in the ‘day to day’, we have blind-spots too. I have them. And you have them. Those character flaws, personality quirks, and habits that drive people crazy, risk relationships, and wound people around us. And, most of the time, we don’t see it coming until we crash, or almost crash.

Lately, it seems, I come face to face with these realities in my personal life more often than I wish. Events happen that expose my blind-spots. Relationship struggles. Reactions to things people do, things that catch me off guard, and bring to the surface feelings and the temptation to respond in ways that are not healthy.

I might, in fact, most likely I will, push down those reactions, and count to ten… or a thousand, depending on the situation. And I’m glad for that. Self control is not a bad thing. But when it’s over, I am left to look at the black spots on my heart, and see my humanity in all its sinful realities.

And in that ‘assessing’ of things afterwards, I see, too frequently, that I said or did something to create the struggles in the relationship. An oversight. Some neglect. A selfish moment. A thoughtless word, or poorly articulated thoughts, and countless other things I do, but miss, until I ‘crash’, or almost crash.

And when it gets up close and personal, like that, and I discover that it was my blind-spots that created the mess in the first place, I struggle. I struggle because I want to help people, and never hurt them, or make them struggle. I want to be better than that for there sake. But also for my sake. Even for my pride, if I’m honest. And that is probably one reason God lets me be this human.

What I’m learning with my blind-spots, is to acknowledge them, one at a time, and not be overwhelmed by them. To say, “I am human”, but never use that as an excuse. To choose to grow. To take ownership. And, never, never quit.

Blind-spots, they kill you. They kill you in so many ways, if you don’t take that second look, and pause with that extra second, to assess what is happening. They kill you by making you hate yourself, or feel defeated. They kill you by making you retreat into a shell, where you can’t hurt anyone, and no one can hurt you. They kill you by making you hang up your keys, and taking no risks.

Don’t let your blind-spots kill you. That’s exactly what the enemy wants you to do. To give up. To surrender. To believe that God is done with you, and you have no purpose.

But God has a better plan. When you choose to grow, to learn, and to release the outcome, God will use those blind-spots to teach you. But He won’t stop there. He will teach the other person too.

That ‘near run-in’ may be the very thing that shakes the other person to reality, and makes them pay attention. It might be the thing God uses to teach them, so they don’t go through a greater tragedy in another relationship.

Release the outcomes of your failures, your blind-spots, to God and let Him use you broken and imperfect. His name is Redeemer for a reason. Because we need Him to redeem. Redeem us. Redeem our mistakes. And redeem the impact of our blind-spots on ourselves, and on others.

I’ve made my decision. I will keep going, serving God, and try my best to do it well. When I fail, and I will fail, then I will hold my life in an open hand, including those failures, so God can redeem the outcome.

©TrudyMetzger

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