Gardens & Flowers and Summer Things…

The past few weeks have been busy, fun, exciting and all around lovely. Having said that, my finger nails are stained–even though I mostly wore gardening gloves–and several sunburned spots are still peeling and healing, and I’ve spent more time in grungy, muddy clothes than I have in years.

July 7, 2008 we took possession of our house which, at that time, had only dirt around it. Not a speck of green vegetation, other than the weeds. The grass went in shortly thereafter, but that’s where it stayed, until this spring. I enjoy flowerbeds and plants but I like to plan them around things like side-walks and steps. And until this year we only had a set of temporary cement steps with a cement tile walkway. It worked.

Several week ago we had a gentleman put in stamped concrete steps and side-walk. And one thing led to another, which led to another and we ended up turning our front yard into a garden. It was only supposed to be a flowerbed around the side-walk, curving around a bit by the road, and again down from the house, with three trees, none of which get super huge, except the Fat Albert Blue Spruce. That one, while shorter than most blue spruce, gets some height to it.  And that would all of worked out, except that I don’t know as much about trees and perennials as I wish I did. Having determined that perennial garden is the way to go, I sought the advice of a neighbour who has many gorgeous flowerbeds, years of experience and designs flowerbeds.

She looked at what I had chosen, for plants and trees, along with my ideas of where I thought I’d plant them, and informed me that everything would be overgrown in a few years, and plants would crowd each other out. To this I said, “What would you advise?” and that set everything in motion.

She started rearranging plants and trees (also taking into consideration the things I still wanted to add) and that’s how it happened that our front yard turned into a garden….  I drew a diagram, wrote down the names of low-maintenance plants she recommended, and presented the plan to Tim. Here is the not-quite-completed result:

(Before you look, let your imagination take over, and picture everything about 3 to five years from now,  nice and filled out, and this little haven in the middle, with a nice centre piece–maybe a fountain, or a bench/chair, or perhaps a bird bath–and a tall solar-powered post lamp… )

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In spite of the beautiful weather–not too hot, and not too cold–I find myself saying things that make my family and friends cringe. I don’t love heat, making this summer the best in many years for me. Even on the very hot days we’ve had cooler nights, creating my dream summer.  None-the-less, I am conditioned to loving snow and say things like, “I can’t wait to see what it looks like covered in (a dusting) of snow,” and other wintery statements that slip past my lips, causing family and friends to cringe. To them it seems like the snow only finished melting yesterday, and the trauma of it has not yet worn off… But, after this project, I think Tim might have a new appreciation for snow and all things winter, even shovelling. It’s still much lighter than carrying rocks.

Tim had the past week off and took charge of the project, investing his time and energy to get it done. Having messed up my back a few weeks ago, there were days I was completely useless, other than to give a thumbs up or thumbs down to ideas and suggestions. And, while neither of us is avid gardeners–and even though one of us loves more flowers, the other more greenery, one loves grass, the other rocks, one favours birds and bird baths… if only because they attract birds… and the other would choose a more practical centre piece –we do enjoy the outdoors and will get many hours of pleasure from the garden.

It was also a wonderful opportunity to get to know our neighbours better–Mahlon and Isobel Frey–and spend time working together in their yard and ours. Isobel and I went plant shopping together one day, and we made it to each other’s gardens several times on most other days. We’ve always gotten along well, but through this experience we have developed a friendship and laid groundwork for an ongoing relationship.

As we sweated and sunburned ourselves to get the job done, it struck me, the irony of things. We were created to enjoy gardens, plants, animals and the great outdoors. There, in the buff, we were going to live happily ever after, oblivious to our naked state, and indulging in the wonder of creation, all while in blissful relationship with the Creator. Now we pay for trees and flowers, and fight against the elements to recreate whatever notion we have of what a garden should be, muddying up the clothes we made or purchased, to hide that nakedness.

And that is all included in the price tag for sin… the cost for the knowledge of good and evil. Oh, Adam and Eve, what were you thinking? And that’s about how deep my theological thoughts ran this week…

It has been a lovely break, getting my hands back in the soil, staining my fingers a little, and getting the dirt stuck under my nails. (Gloves don’t cut it for this girl… they would need to reach to my elbows and be made of rubber…)  It’s been a time of mental rest, spiritual tranquillity, and inner refreshing. Clients are enjoying their summer break, and I am taking a much needed hiatus from meeting with people–fitting in only the occasional session–so that I can do summer things and finish up my book.  And even my book got put on hold for seven days, for the sake of this garden.

Tomorrow it is back to normal life and routine, and the thrill of watching plants grow. I am thankful for a project almost complete, a wonderful husband to help me get it done (the gentlemen reading this understand what the word ‘help’ means here), kind neighbours to interact with,  income tax refund to pay for it, and a God who loves us as we bumble and stumble through life.

It’s a beautiful world!

© Trudy Metzger

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A Picture Blog… “Close to Home”

Sometimes words fail. Like this last week…. There are things I want to write about… things I want to tell you, but the time isn’t right. And so I wait, in silence… patiently, or impatiently… until I am free to express and share…

In the meantime, I spent hours this week wandering through the beautiful wooded area of the Mill Race at St Jacobs. It was there, on a snowy night, where Tim and I admitted our love for each other, to ourselves… It is there we made a promise to wait until marriage for sexual intercourse… It is there we named our first baby, on that same night…

And it is the Mill Race where I go to be alone with God and nature… to wander and enjoy the peace and wonder of who He is, even when He seems silent, or far away. It is where I go when my heart feels lost and empty… when I am devastated or angry…. or any other reason that might make me feel the need to be alone.

This week I went to still my restless heart and enjoy the tranquillity  of God’s creation.  And then I wandered some other places and took more pictures…

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© Trudy Metzger

 

To Donate: Generations Unleashed, and Help Victims of Sexual Abuse in the Church
(Tax Receipts will automatically be issued for all donations over $20)

 

Trudy’s YouTube Channel

 

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Sexual Abuse & Violence: Understanding God’s Original Intent

To understand the abuse of something, we must first understand its intended purpose. The first step in preventing sexual abuse is proper education. While this is not ‘fool proof’, it does serve as somewhat of a protection. As parents it is our responsibility to teach our children healthy sexuality, and healthy sexual self-image.

This is first and foremost rooted in a healthy view of God. If I trust God, I trust His purposes. If I trust His purposes, I respect His original intent and recognize that any deviation from that plan is ultimately destructive in my life. God didn’t create us and then, as an after-thought, slap on a list of ‘do’s and don’ts’ so that He could sit back and be entertained by our struggle. Sometimes we treat Him as though that is how it is.

 

In the Garden of Eden, God made Adam. Adam was not incomplete as a man. He was whole, in the image of God, nothing lacking. Except human companionship. God could have left him there like that, but God saw that it was not good for mankind to do life alone.

Why? What harm could it or would it have done?

Adam was made in the image of God, but on his own he could not fully reflect God. More than anything else, God is relational, loving and giving, always working for the good of His children, always giving life to others. Without human companionship, Adam would have had no choice but to be introverted, having no one to invest in relationally. And Adam could not have reflected God as Creator and life-giver. To create life requires two humans and One God, again establishing God’s design for relationship and His interest in His Creation.

Just as God breathed life into Adam and Eve, He placed in them the ability to procreate, and have children, just as we are God’s children. This made them parents and, again, they reflected God. To this day we reflect God, or our beliefs about Him. not only in the procreation experience of intimacy and childbirth, but also in the way that we parent.

I have, on occasion, heard teachings that only Adam was created in God’s image, and Eve, as his helper, was merely pulled out of Adam. Almost as an afterthought. But the creation process was not a random series of experiments by God, in a ‘fly-by-the-seat-of-His-pants’ style project. Every step, every move in God’s plan had a purpose, communicating specific messages so that we would understand who He is. To reach in Adam’s chest, and create Eve out of Adam’s rib, was a deliberate act of God, creating a strong bond between them, and it made her no less created in His image. Genesis 1:27  “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Individually we reflect God, and, in a marriage union, as one man and one woman, we reflect God together. Our sexual identity is deeply personal, and intended to be protected, guarded and saved for marriage. In marriage, our sexuality is still deeply personal, but shared vulnerably with our spouse, as a symbol of complete acceptance and unselfish love. It is a level of intimacy that, in an ideal world, is shared only between one husband and one wife. (God knows we don’t have a perfect world. Virginity, celibacy, and monogamy are a rare thing, even in the church.)

Repeatedly the Bible says that a man and a woman are to leave their families and become ‘one flesh’. (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:8; Matthew 19:6; Ephesians 5:31) It was God’s original intent that we bond sexually with only one person, that we become ‘one flesh’ and nurture that relationship in selfless sacrifice, as a reflection of His faithfulness, His unconditional love for us, and His full acceptance of us.

When we mess with God’s purpose, and pervert the natural (and obvious) plan for us, especially in the area of our sexuality, we mess with our core identity. As image bearers of our Creator God, we misrepresent Him, we defile ourselves, and pay a high price, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically and physically.

This is especially true when this innocence is forcibly taken from us through childhood sexual abuse, exposure to pornography against our will, rape or any other form of sexual violence. There is pain even with wrong personal choices, but it cannot compare to the trauma that goes with these violations.

If there was not such incredible power for good, especially spiritual power, in our sexual identity, then it would not and, indeed, could not have the power for evil and destruction that it has. It would be a neutral experience. Only something with powerful potential for good, has the potential for dynamic evil. Spiritually, one potential cannot exist without the other. The greater the potential for good, the greater the potential for evil. That is part of the curse of the knowledge of good and evil.

Stop and ask yourself this question, “What has caused more damage in our world than sexual perversion?” And, if your answer is ‘murder’, I would add this question, “How often is murder linked to sexual sin?” It is not uncommon for an ex-lover, or a ‘would be’ lover, to commit murder. Granted, many other things can trigger it, but there is a sexual connection in over 90% of male-offender murders. (See Statistics Here) This alone should convince us that there is deeper and more spiritual power in our sexuality, than a physical act. If it has the power to unleash this kind of demonic power, then it has to be spiritual.

Even when murder is not connected to anything sexual, many victims would echo that death seems less traumatic than the thought of being violated to the extreme. These most horrific of sexual violations, no human being should need to live with.

Within the context of marriage between a husband and wife, sexuality is blessed by God, and is a form of worship. When God created man and woman, He said, “It is very good…. Be fruitful and multiply.” When we function within God’s plan, we stand in agreement with Him in saying, “What You created is very good. We honour You as our Creator.” When we honour God, we worship Him, and when we worship Him, we are made whole.

It is little wonder that the church of Jesus Christ is a broken, wounded Body, limping through life, with little of substance to offer the world. If we cannot fight for this most basic area of our God-given identity, by fighting for innocent children who are brutally violated by professing Christians, then we have lost sight of God. If we don’t honour God, in the area of our core identity—in reflecting His image—the consequence is, as described in Romans 1, that God will turn people over to unnatural desires….

Jesus would not stand by and accept our self-preserving shrugs and excuses, as we pretend ‘it doesn’t happen in our church’. He would clean house.

We as the Body of Christ have failed God. We have looked to religion. We have protected image. We have sacrificed our children for our pride. We have played God. And society is a direct reflection of that sin. Romans 1 is in full play and we are not innocent.

May God forgive us, if we will only repent.

2 Chronicles 7:14

New King James Version (NKJV)

14 if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

© Trudy Metzger 2012

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