Red ink
Spills on white paper
Paper thin hearts
Cast aside
Crystal tears
Hit the ground
Left to die
Dying hearts
Transparent tears
No one sees
No one cares
No one hears
Silent cries
Not a sound
As words
Bleeding pain
Carved deep
Etching tattoos
On wounded flesh and
Tender souls where
Red ink spills…

They button suits
Suit up in crisp white shirts
They tie their polished shoes
Walking carefully, they step in
Red ink, spilled on their floor…
They point to the noisy bleeding…
New shoes, with red footprints,
Crushing paper thin hearts
Crumpled hearts
Scattered here and there.
Who made this mess?
We didn’t know
They were there
Those angry
Move on!
You unforgiving souls!”

Aren’t those messy ones
So disruptive?

Have you noticed how good and kind I am?
Just like Jesus.
Do you see my beautiful new shoes?
These are my Gospel shoes
To spread good news.
We better go;
Go save souls
Do things that matter
For Jesus.

It’s such a beautiful day today,
Isn’t it?
The sunrise,
A brilliant red
Isn’t that cloud stunning?
Almost like a crumpled
Paper heart
Bleeding tears.

Have you ever wondered,
Does God cry?


God weeps
Crystal tears
Scattered on the ground
His heart crumpled, crushed,
Stepped on
Red ink…
His blood
New shoes
His Love
to life.

His life, His Love, His hope, etched in forever tattoos on my heart.


~ T ~

© Trudy Metzger 2018

Poem: Beyond Betrayal

Looking back to those early days, and dreaming of life with Tim, as we planned for our wedding, it was a stark contrast from what I was familiar with in men. I realize how very blessed I was, and am, to have someone like him.

It could all have been very different. Most of the males in my life, prior to that time, left me broken, wounded and stripped of identity. It’s what I had known at home, and what I had come to expect.

When Howard stepped into the father role in my life, and treated me with dignity, respect and care, my expectation changed. I saw that I had value.  And that changed everything.

By the way he treated me, Tim redeemed the pain and trauma of the past. Where life had been suffocated, his gentle love brought healing and new life. At times, when I couldn’t express my heart any other way, I turned to poetry. Often poems would flow without effort, requiring almost no editing.

But when I thought of how Tim had moved my heart from a place of betrayal and fear of men, into a place of trust–moving me to a place Beyond Betrayal–I sat for hours, working on it.

This poem, written to honour Tim and the gift of his love, was a labour of love, as I tried to find words to show the contrast in the impact Tim had on me, and the state in which he found me, due to devastating aftermath of previous unhealthy male relationships. I felt as if all that life had stolen from me, was given back to me through his love…

© Trudy Metzger

Return to first post in Sexual Abuse Series

First Post in Spiritual Abuse Series