Christmas 2018 our youngest gave me a coffee mug with ‘Kindness’ written on it. I hadn’t chosen a ‘word of the year’ for 2019 yet. By New Year’s Day I did, though I honestly don’t remember what it was without digging back.
Partway through the year I realized how often in 2019 I would find myself thinking or saying, “God is kind. Always. So very kind.” In the hell and the hard times, when my heart was enveloped by loss and sorrow, that awareness would settle deep in my spirit, no matter what I was feeling. In the good times feeling.
When dealing with abuse and abusers, my prayer was, “Help me to be kind.” Exposing corruption is not seen as kind. But it is. When there is no hate or animosity, exposing evil is one of the kindest things we can do. It gives offenders opportunity to get help and take ownership, and it gives victims permission to speak and heal.
Before the year was over, I’d look at that mug on my shelf and know that my word for 2019 was “Kindness”, or “Kind”.
It’s 2020. I’ve not really looked for a word for the year. God brings themes into my life without me choosing a word, as He does for others. Yet I find myself looking ahead into the unknowns, and without searching for it ‘Trust’ appears.
In many ways I do already trust God. I trust Him deeply. But. truth be told, the thought of Trust being my word for 2020 disarms me a bit. I really don’t want to have to learn too much more trust. Usually that word is associated with loss and hard times.
I’d much rather choose Vision, like so many others, whether in humour or sincerity. Vision sounds so noble and un-suffering. It sounds so ‘together’… leading to growth and success.
But Trust it is.
I’m returning to university in spite of ongoing concussion-like symptoms. (In fact, only a few weeks ago my doctor stated that she is certain I sustained a concussion when I was rear-ended August 1st. Somehow, in spite of that, I need to complete my last term of university courses. And then I need to prepare for comprehensives. That takes trust.
I have a brother fighting pancreatic cancer. We pray for miracles.Watching him suffer is heartbreaking. In spite of our prayers, we don’t know what lies ahead. That takes trust. Believing God knows best, that especially takes trust. That trust requires a willingness to suffer, to lose, to grieve, to be deeply wounded.
There are other unknowns…. Other uncertainties…
So, ‘Trust’ it is….
Praying that, in 2020, God meets you in your story in ways that undeniably show you His incredible love for you! That love is what makes trust possible for me. No matter what, I always know He loves me. And nothing can take that away from me.
As always…
Love,
Trudy
© Trudy Metzger 2020
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SURVEY: For those interested, we only need 50 more responses to the survey on Conservative Anabaptist (CA) Leaders’ Response to Abuse before analyzing the data. (The goal is 200 respondents for richer data). If you have been sexually abused and interacted with a CA leader regarding the abuse, this survey is for you. I am preparing several other surveys and will release them on our SURVEYS PAGE.
A Splash of Love.... 
When I choose a word for the year, the theme is a characteristic of God. “Trustworthy” was my word in 2008. It was so imperative to my life that I carried it into 2009 as well.
One of the golden nuggets I found in that season was from Angie Smith. “Trust is not necessarily things happening as I anticipated they were going to happen. Trust is believing God is going to be with you no matter what the road is doing in front of you or behind you.”
Blessings on your year! Go forth boldly and humbly in your service to God and others.
Thank you for sharing this, Rhoda. And thank you for your blessings. So true that it is uncertainty — the unanticipated and unpredictable — that requires trust. There is, at times, no harder place to be. There is never a safer place.
God bless you and yours in 2020!
So well thought out, and presented. Yes we know it’s a little scary using that word, but as wife Kathryn and I were discussing that issue, she reminded me that (and it seemed a little brusk) she reminded me that God isn’t like that, He’s so kind, and gentle, really. I know you know that He’s unlike some earthly daddys just waiting – waiting to – won’t go there, (oh well, waiting with his stick) Our Daddy God does take us through loving enhancing experiences, and it’s beautiful. We’re in the middle of one now, this time it is with our own family, BUT GOD – BUT GOD *!* Yes, He is always… and only good. Thank you for walking us through so well. It really helped.