Before I get into the ‘bulk’ of this blog… I learned that my blog content has been banned from MennoNET due to the blatantly graphic content. I respect that. Not everyone can stomach the harsh, graphic, blatant reality of what is happening in church. I have boundaries on my FB page too.
Like yesterday, instead of showing any concern or compassion for a woman who shared how she received 104 ‘straps’ at a Charity school, a new follower told her she was looking for attention. I told him if he is going to speak that way to survivors of horror, he is not welcome in my space. He made a few more rude comments, told me I am abusing him, and then unfriended me.
To me that is sheer ignorance. No compassion for a woman who received 104 straps in a religious setting and then cries ‘abuse’ at someone setting boundaries? Ummm… No. So I blocked him to make sure he could not follow the conversation, lest he would decide to bully them privately. (I still need to go back and read the remainder of the comments. Admittedly I wasn’t expecting almost 400 comments on a post about spanking. Seems I opened another fresh can of worms! And I have marking to do for University! But that can of worms is for another post, on another day, when we will talk about the horror stories surfacing out of the Charity churches).
So I understand boundaries, and bless MennoNET for making the call they feel is right for them and their people. I wouldn’t have known about it, had no one told me, as that is one site I do not visit. Not even tempted.
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EXTREME GRAPHIC CONTENT TRIGGER WARNING:
I’ve heard all manor of stories for years, so no longer deal with that shock factor. All situations are not the same. The case of 3 adults raping a child is shocking, as it should be. There is no consent.
Other scenarios, that are not criminal, I seldom delve into, simply because my work is with victims, not because I don’t find it tragic. There is only so much a person can do. Even so, there is a time to address it so in this blog I tell snippets of such stories, most briefly, because people seem to have trouble grasping how a group would collude together to commit such an act. And that question is an important one to ask. The answer I think lies in some of the non-criminal activities that are brought to my attention by those who participated in them, or family members and friends who know and cannot contain it.
A group of young men, all minors, stand in a circle, each masturbating the one in front of them. This is North-Eastern Ohio. Some are from the conservative Anabaptist community (not Amish), others are not identified by the person sharing, nor their church setting.
Some of my readers, I expect, will recognize this scenario, or another like unto it… maybe down by the river… maybe changing your clothes on Sunday afternoon, or some other ‘scene’ entirely. If you do, and wish to get it off your chest, I know honourable men of God near you who I am confident would mentor you. … even now, after all these years.
Another day, another situation…
I am a young married woman, sitting with someone ‘a long journey away’ from where we live. We are not in ministry. I don’t yet work with abuse victims. But, like everywhere else we go, people just share…
Amid tears the man (whose wife is also present) tells of the ‘group orgies’ that were prevalent in his youth among the young men in church.
Yet another situation…
A group of young men gather around a cell phone and watch porn together….
A young man recruits a young teenager to rape a preschooler, while he watches and laughs… The teen is a victim of the older recruiter. The preschooler is a victim of both.
HOW DO A GROUP OF MEN COLLUDE TOGETHER TO ASSAULT A CHILD?
Moving back to the victimization of a child by a group.. Let’s start with those orgies… If a group of young men get together for those orgies (and I know of plenty more in other communities), why not to molest children and rape them?
A young woman in US tells me of her experience being assaulted, in a barn, as a group of teenage boys take turns “playing bull and cow”, using her, on her hands and knees, to rub themselves against her. She is clothed. She doesn’t understand. She is younger, they are older. Later she remembers… and suddenly the weight of what that group did to her, even with her clothes on, leaves her traumatized.
She is one of many who have told me this story. Some were not so fortunate to keep their clothes on.
Is it really such a far leap, to imagine that those boys, having sex with each other or group-assaulting a little girl, reaching adulthood and finding more perverse ways of assaulting children?
With the amount of this that goes on, I’m astounded at how many can’t fathom the sexual assaults.
Shaming those who tell the graphic, blatant truth demonizes truth-tellers and thus enables darkness. That’s another reason it is not so hard to imagine how darkness stoops to this level.
HOW DO WE STOP THIS MESS?
We start talking honestly, if we haven’t. And we keep talking honestly if we already are. Keeping silent is a curse. And it is the devil’s idea, not God’s. Certainly we won’t stop it by silencing people.
Stop calling ‘talking about it” pornographic & stop the production of this porn:
My blogs, I am told, are banned from MennoNet. I have long been banned by some of the conservative Mennonite private ‘internet’ providers. While this is terribly unhandy for people who have had to get my blogs printed off by friends or go to ‘visit’ to read them, it does give me free advertising. So I appreciate that part.
REALITY CHECK:
If a baby, child or youth isn’t protected from a full grown man’s penis, or the molesting fingers and objects by men, women and teens, or is forced to perform oral sex (which is strictly forbidden by some when they give advice to young couples getting married) then shame on us for saying it can’t be talked about. How can we justify letting it go on in silence and condemning the truth-tellers?!
And if you wouldn’t be comfortable having it done to your child or grandchild in the front of church service, while the preacher is teaching, then stand against it. And if you’ve done things like that, I will say to you like Joshua said to Achan, “honour God this day and tell this thing that you have done” (based on Joshua 7:19).
If it’s too explicit to tell, surely it’s too horrific to have hidden in church. No? What am I missing here?
So, for the sake of the children who still find no voice, I will keep telling their horrors, and some will keep reading, and stand up to fight for these neglected ones.
And if they don’t, I’ll keep telling anyway.
Because the raped and molested children deserve to be acknowledged. And every single day I receive messages of thanks. All from conservative Mennonites. Ranging from teenagers to aging grandparents.
And they keep saying, “Don’t let them stop you, no matter what!”
Yes, they keep pleading with me to stay strong against the accusations, the name-calling and all that goes with exposing corruption.
But more than that, when I stand before God and account for my life, I want to have done what He called me to do. First in showing His love to the victims, and secondly in exposing the evil to prevent more victims in the future.
And I am not alone. Thousands, and thousands are rising to take a stand for Jesus and against the abuse and corruption. Daily emails and messages are pouring in, from conservative Anabaptists across the world, and especially from USA. While it is thrilling to see, I don’t know how I will ever get caught up!
Praise God that finally, finally, finally there is a massive move across the Anabaptist community to speak out against abuse.
As always…
With love,
~ T ~
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ONLY 2 MORE WEEKS TO REGISTER WITH LUNCH AND CONCERT INCLUDED!
(ENDS AUGUST 1, 2019)
THE GATHERING, NOVEMBER 2, 2019, LANCASTER BIBLE COLLEGE:
One of the things we are working toward November 2, 2019, at THE GATHERING, is creating a place where we collectively invite God into our grief. It is exclusively for Anabaptist survivors of sexual abuse, and their trusted support persons to join together for a day of acknowledging the generations of suffering. We will cry out to God, together. The invitation is to ‘come as you are’ in your raw brokenness, if that’s where you’re at, or in your healed togetherness. The itinerary is simple. It isn’t about ‘who’ or ‘how’; it is about Jesus and a safe place to meet, to heal another layer, together.
NOTE: Anyone over 18 who sexually assaulted someone – whether child or other adult – is not welcome. This does not mean they are not forgiven if they have repented. It means victims should not fear being confronted with the source of their trauma on such a vulnerable day. Security guards will be present to remove any who show up and are identified as offenders by the victims.
Until August 1, 2019, registration for the day’s events includes lunch and attendance to the evening concert with Jason Gray, whose music had brought hope and healing to countless victims. Songs like “The Wound is Where the Light Gets In“, “A Way to See in the Dark“, Sparrows“, “Nothing is Wasted“, and many more speak a language we understand.
(More information for potential attendees is available under THE GATHERING Registration and for non-attendees at THE GATHERING Information.)
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If you are able to contribute to Generations Unleashed and our work with and for victims, you may donate via PayPal or e-transfer to info@generationsunleashed.com. Or visit Generations Unleashed Donate.
A Splash of Love.... 
Another thing we can and must do is monitor our children and ourselves. Sitting around visiting for hours on Saturday and Sunday afternoons while children play unmonitored in barns or bedrooms, in fields or woods or by the river is completely unacceptable. I’m grateful my parents were very cautious in this area.
The potential for sin is in each of us. We must begin immediately to protect youth and ourselves by setting up and maintaining healthy boundaries when communities gather for fellowship. Rules such as: open doors or no playing in bedrooms, more than one adult present when engaging with children, etc. can begin the protection of the innocent. Frank, open discussions about sexual safety (good touch/bad touch) and our bodies are another necessity to help stop the travesties we have been reading about in this blog. There are godly books available to begin these often awkward subjects, but if we begin by talking age-appropriately to our very small children, the topics can feel less awkward. Best of all, perhaps our children will begin to feel safe and protected in their home communities and will approach their parents with questions or possible abuses.
God bless each of us as we attempt to heal the broken-hearted and protect the innocent.
You comments and ideas are spot-on. Thank you for saying these things.
Don’t give up.
Hello, Trudy: Just to clarify, you have not been banned from MennoNet; links are being shared. Several times your blog has been shared in its entirety on MennoNet because I have not always been able to access your blog. We realize that this is not appropriate so the site owner has stopped it because of copyright rules. And just to clarify also – the site owner stated today that he lives daily with someone who has suffered extensive sexual and other abuse and that he is or has been a counsellor for such. And you do have more supporters posting than detractors.
I have really struggled with the three men and one 7 year old. This is so totally mind blowing that most people I know would certainly question it. Yes, after what you shared today about the group situations, it becomes more credible. And I remember being In Pa. with a group of young men, one of whom was due to get married in a few weeks, going into a magazine shop and going to the men’s section, looking at the magazine’s on display there. I was shocked and uncomfortable – I might have done that in secret but openly, with a group?
Go gently, but keep going!
Osiah Horst CPB
Horst Business Services Inc.
Sage 50 and Sage One ProAdvisor
QuickBooks ProAdvisor
Phone (613) 281-1525 Fax (866) 365-2919
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Thank you Osiah. I corrected the info to say that links are accepted but copy and paste is not. I was told it was for explicit content, not copyright, so the readers must have misunderstood. (And it wasn’t my husband who told me. He respects my wish to not hear what he reads there. I visited the site a few times at some point and found most challenging and good. But the blatant discounting of people’s suffering by a few was not healthy for me).
Either way, I said it and meant it sincerely that I respect their decision. There is nothing wrong with having boundaries. (There is something wrong with controlling people to avoid truth. That’s not what I felt this was/is). The lack of boundaries is deadly. And the inability to respect boundaries is what leads to abuse.
The site moderator listed both reasons for not wanting the copy and paste: some of the words in your blogs were getting stuck in the filters for some of the readers. Also, he is concerned about copyright. I told him you wouldn’t have cared and that the source was always cited.
But, in the end, it is his decision, and I’m glad you see that.
I have also had a problem with the minimizing comments being made on the forums. I think most people are in the Anabaptist habit of downplaying, even when they don’t mean to be.
That may be a harsh judgment. But as an outsider, it is very apparent.