Dear Anonymous Mennonite Friend

IMG_2128IMG_2129Dear Anonymous ,

I’m sorry for whatever happened in your life to make you this bitter and hateful. The letter speaks for itself, and for you–as all anonymous hate letters do–but I will let the readers make of it what they wish. I see no need to respond to most of it.

I will, however, address (with evidence) one item of misinformation regarding the ‘lie’ you claim I told. Evidence, for the second item I will address, would be documented at Family & Children Services (F&CS).

The minister I spoke to is from local church, along with another staff member as a witness.   (If you are involved in this case and would like to have their names/contact information, please email me using the Contact Trudy page and I will connect you with them.)I shared the details of what transpired the night your friend fled home in terror, leaving a child in the care of a man she feared, and I was encouraged to call F&CS, even months later.  (You will note in the text screen shot below that I never hinted at it being a Mennonite minister. I have the other texts as well, and there is no harassment.)
text to friends of anonymous letter

At some point, after speaking with them, I called F&CS using a hypothetical situation, to find out what my obligations are for reporting, months after the fact. They said they have to investigate and determine the danger/risk, it is not up to me. (I told them I hesitate to answer because I am concerned about backlash from the Mennonite community–see letter above for evidence/reason for such concern) They questioned me until they got enough information to make a house call, but even looked up the address themselves and guessed at the child’s age, because I did not know. (This, I presume, would all be documented at F&CS and is the extent of my ‘harassment’, as you and your police officer friend call it.)

I’m sorry that your friend cannot face the truth of what happened that night. Abuse only ends when confronted, regardless of what tragic past experiences trigger the abuse. And I hope she and her husband go for counselling and get the support and healing they both need.

Having said all that, your letter begs one question–what truth are you afraid of having exposed, to react this strongly to something that has nothing to do with you?  (And to which you clearly do not have facts. Harassment charges never come from a citizen doing their duty and calling F&CS, especially when advised by a church leader to do so. )

I offer my forgiveness for calling me a ‘BEAST’ and a ‘loser’. And, again, I am truly sorry for whatever it is that causes such darkness to spill from your soul onto paper.  I pray you will discover just how incredibly much Jesus loves you, and find peace.  I have nothing but love and compassion in my heart for you, and for your friend.



Ps. Mark, Stuart, Glen, Kenny and other pastor/minister in your church(es) are welcome to contact me about this or any other Mennonite abuse cases. I respect the three that I know and have heard many good things about Glen.  I’ve already met with other Midwest leaders and, in all but one situation, everything has been handled with grace and integrity. When one leader got angry, he later apologized, in front of two fellow ministers, his wife (I believe was there) and one other individual, and then thanked me. That takes humility.

© Trudy Metzger

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19 thoughts on “Dear Anonymous Mennonite Friend

  1. Helen June 13, 2014 / 11:30 am

    Wow, it totally boggles the mind how someone can spew so much misinformation with such venom. And she’s praying that You can find forgiveness in your life. Sounds like she needs plenty of that herself. I guess it goes back to not being able to root out darkness without coming under attack. Will continue to pray for God’s protection and strength for you, Trudy.

    • Trudy Metzger June 14, 2014 / 8:49 am

      I’ve concluded that many (probably most) people naively believe everything that is said to them, and very few ever hear the other side. (There is this case and one other that have ‘stirred up the demons’ and that tells me we’re very close to several brutal strongholds.) The enemy will blind people to truth, when they are this near to a stronghold–even good, well meaning and sincere Christians can have this happen. And I don’t know how this works in everything, but certainly anything that exposes sexual sin, molestation and addictions, flares up the demonic response and lies. (And any other thing that touches ‘image’, no matter how true, works much like poking the devil in the eye. He has territory, and he is hell-bent on keeping it.) I have to remember it isn’t about me, or even about this world. It is much bigger than that.

      I especially appreciate prayers for protection and strength. God is good!

  2. anonymous June 13, 2014 / 12:16 pm

    WOW!! yea i would think she would’ve tried to get BOTH sides of the story before doing something so harsh and very un christ like. especially considering how she says the things about you that she does. thank GOD, that He is not like that!!!!

    • Trudy Metzger June 14, 2014 / 8:42 am

      God will work with this, as it is. There is nothing beyond His redemption, including this letter and whatever lies behind it. And my prayer is just that! For her, for her friends, for everyone. For me it is already redeemed. To read it, and know who I am in Christ, to have it stir up compassion and concern, is all the redemption I need. We’ll pray for her.

  3. Katrina June 13, 2014 / 2:24 pm

    Thank you, Trudy, for continuing to fight with God for the helpless! I pray that God would give you His wisdom, love, patience, strength, heart, and the ability to help bridge the way for healing for His people, both for the hurt and the “hurters.”

    • Trudy Metzger June 14, 2014 / 8:39 am

      Thank you Katrina. God is moving. That is my prayer, that healing will come for both. And, keeping in mind, that you have to be really wounded and lost, to wound people. Not all abusers have been abused–and it would be no excuse if they were–but all carry deep wounds and identity issues. Hurting others always comes from insecurity, selfishness and not knowing who we are in Christ. So finding the latter is the answer And that is my prayer.

  4. rb June 13, 2014 / 2:31 pm

    Truth is still truth. Truth will come to light. No matter what all gets boggled up together, truth will still come out in the end. Hang in there Trudy. We are pulling for you.

    • Trudy Metzger June 14, 2014 / 8:36 am

      Thank you for sharing your solid faith and encouragement that truth wins out. It really does–amen to that! I thank God for my place in Christ, and my identity in Him. No one can take it away, and nothing can replace that.

  5. Kristina June 13, 2014 / 2:39 pm

    This letter comes from some who clearly needs the freedom only Christ can give. God bless you Trudy for your humble response.

    • Trudy Metzger June 14, 2014 / 8:34 am

      Bondage and control–out of a need to cover for someone, or cover something– demand that we give into harsh feelings, rather than approach the person to hear their side. And that is a hard way to live inside our own head space. I’ve been there, and fought that insecurity, so I know for certain that Jesus is enough, that He can heal that place and make us whole and secure in Him. So I pray…

  6. Marie Bergen June 13, 2014 / 7:48 pm

    Wow. you must have hit on something very close to home for this person. God give you grace!! To write such stuff and then sign it Anonymous is cowardly. I pray God will give this woman peace and the strength to open up to someone! Thanks for all to do Trudy!!!!! God bless!

    • Trudy Metzger June 14, 2014 / 8:30 am

      Thank you Marie. Yes, please pray for her, and for the whole situation. I deal with anonymous letters somewhat frequently, when clients get them for confronting their (alleged) abusers. So I know they happen way too much. But it is my first. Most people at least have the honour to own their words, even when they are harsh, and I appreciate that. And I welcome criticism, but not when they are borne out of hate birthed in lies. I don’t respect that, or welcome it, but I also don’t take it into my spirit. I pray too for her heart, for peace.

  7. hisprincess60 June 14, 2014 / 12:59 am

    Craziness… I hear lot’s of pain in that letter… Praying for you, Trudy!!!

    • Trudy Metzger June 14, 2014 / 8:24 am

      Thank you… but pray more for her–whoever she is. It was too far out to have any impact. I’ve received pretty harsh letters/emails/texts before, but always with enough restraint to make the mind question if they are sincere. Those are painful. This one, not so much… it makes me sad for her.

  8. hisprincess60 June 14, 2014 / 12:43 pm

    I think she lashed out because of her own pain… I’ll be praying…

    • Trudy Metzger June 18, 2014 / 9:49 am

      Agreed. Pain has a way of making people do things they would not usually do. “Hurting people, hurt people”, as the saying goes. But none of this is beyond God’s grace. I wouldn’t hesitate to sit with this woman and remind her how much God loves her… then pray with and for her. That’s the wonder of what Jesus came to do for us in our hurt, and asks us to offer to those who hurt or hate us.

      • hisprincess60 June 18, 2014 / 11:23 am

        Amen sista!!! I’m so proud of you for reaching back to bring healing and hope!!! Blessings!!

  9. Archon's Den June 18, 2014 / 2:22 am

    It’s hard to *like* that letter, or the anonymous attack, but I like how you’ve dealt with it.

  10. Trudy Metzger June 18, 2014 / 9:50 am

    Thank you. I’ve experienced this kind of grace and love from God. I pray that I will always be able to pass it on.

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