Sexual Abuse & Violence: A Few Unpopular Thoughts (Part 4)


Homosexuality is not Sexual Abuse, within the context of Childhood Sexual Abuse, but it is the abuse of sexuality, according to God’s original plan and intent. And, since I have shared some thoughts from the perspective of the church’s response, I want to speak to the other side.

When I addressed it previously, I pretty much gave a free ride to the homosexual subculture, and a ticket to scream ‘I’m a victim of the church’ and blame childhood experience for choosing the lifestyle later. That was not my intended message, and that’s not a good place to leave it. Not for the church or the sub-culture.

It’s unlikely that the larger percentage of those who choose the gay/homosexual lifestyle would cash in on that ride or that ticket. To do so would violate one core ‘argument’ they present–that they were ‘born this way’ and can’t help it. And one of their most famous questions, if not the most famous, is, ‘If God hates homosexuality, why does He create homosexuals?’

The answer is less complicated than it may seem. God doesn’t create homosexuals. He creates human beings with sex drives. How we each choose to manage that sex drive, in spite of childhood experience and the church’s failings, is entirely up to us.

A little personal ownership, regardless of temptations we face, would eliminate that question. But, in today’s world, ownership and responsibility are bad words–with way too many letters to be effective, in my opinion. (It’s the last thing that comes to mind when I stub my toe.)

The tragic impact of sin has left our bodies imperfect, it has scarred our spirits and our minds.  And I certainly don’t profess to have all the answers on a theological or scientific front. I do know that an entire ‘movement’ or subculture turning to homosexuality is not a scenario worthy of the excuse of being born that way. It’s a movement, a rebellion. If that were not the case, why this sudden flood of people claiming it in an era when it is given so much power? We are being fed lies, and a desensitized generation is being drawn in.

Making excuses for sin, and  not taking ownership for personal choices and behaviours, is one of the biggest curses of all times, and it dates back to the Garden of Eden, to Adam’s first sin. Granted, Adam didn’t say ‘I was born this way’, the popular excuse today. But he used an excuse that showed the same lack of ownership, “God, this woman You gave me…” Either way, it is avoiding accountability for personal choices and responsibility.

That is where I stand, based on God’s word, and a little logic takes me to the same conclusion. Embracing the homosexual lifestyle is a choice. And, since sexuality is more spiritual than physical, to surrender to the lifestyle is to surrender to a spirit, or spirituality, that is at war with God.

Biblically, there is no other conclusion on the matter, that I can come to. Without apology, I embrace God’s Word as the final authority on all matters.

What then, is the answer? We are called to love with grace, and take a stand against sin, to confront it in fellow believers (Matthew 18), and judge sin without judging the sinner. What does this look like? How do we live it?

The ‘how’ of this is pretty personal, but Jesus does give some direction in Matthew 18:15-17. He instructs us to go directly to the person caught in sin, and confront the sin, one-on-one. If they repent, we leave it there. If not, we go to leaders and confront again. If the individual does not repent, then leaders are to expose the sin and we are to view them as we would anyone else who does not know Christ—as someone who needs Jesus. Those who are unrepentant should still be loved.

The person in sin may well become angry and declare you to be ‘intolerant’ and abusive, because they don’t want to deal with their own hearts. Even so, we are required to walk in love, and live in obedience to God, even if we are hated for it.

Note: for the most outstanding message ever preached on Homosexuality, visit Woodside Bible Fellowship and search the Archives Here for ‘Homosexuality‘. Kirk Durston preaches with grace and truth in a way that is seldom heard. A very touching message.

© Trudy Metzger 2012

For more thoughts on this topic, if you are new to my blog: Sexual Abuse & Violence a few Unpopular Thoughts Part 2

Return to 1st post in Sexual Abuse Series

4 thoughts on “Sexual Abuse & Violence: A Few Unpopular Thoughts (Part 4)

  1. Regina July 14, 2012 / 12:43 pm

    How refreshing to hear this subject brought back in line with the Biblical view and balance with our Creator

  2. Jacob Wall July 14, 2012 / 1:39 pm

    I think you said it all with the first few lines: “Homosexuality is not Sexual Abuse, within the context of Childhood Sexual Abuse, but it is the abuse of sexuality, according to God’s original plan and intent.” It’s worth noting that this is also true of an unmarried person who has sex. Yet, these people are never expelled from church communities. Nor should they be, just as homosexuals shouldn’t be. Both need pastoral care, and acceptance of them as people, despite the actions they choose.

    • Trudy Metzger July 14, 2012 / 3:08 pm

      Jacob, thank you for that. You quote me: “The tragic impact of sin has left our bodies imperfect,” and I believe that can and does include various sexual ‘dysfunctions’. These are the impact of sin, not an act of God. And we have labelled ‘homosexual/homosexuality’, God has not. He created us with a specific design and purpose–there is sin, and then there is holiness.

      I don’t reject friends/family who choose that lifestyle. On the contrary, they reject me. I would continue to love, hug, give kisses (appropriate ones), spend time with just as I would with any other friend. I feel no need to reject or even preach at them. Ironically, for all the cries against us Christians for rejecting them, so far 3 for 3 have rejected me very blatantly.

  3. Jacob Wall July 14, 2012 / 1:43 pm

    Here’s a wonderful story of a man who lives with same-sex attraction, has been part of the LGBT community (actively gay) and later came to find how he could live within God’s grace and Biblical teaching, without “surpressing” himself. (He choose Catholicism, but he fully acknowledges the role of Evangelicals and other Christians in his “journey” back to a full relationship with Christ.)

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