Spiritual Abuse Part 26__Shunned…Continued…. (2)

I had stopped working as a cleaning assistant to the girl from my former church. Concerned that she was the ‘private investigator’, carrying home any information she gathered on me–whether perceived of true–I removed myself from ties with her.

Once again Matthew 18 was out the door, with no attempt to talk to me before firing bullets from behind the preachers. Though, if they were functioning true to character, they would have drilled her on it and left her with little choice but to say what she knew.

Needing an income, I had applied at various local business and was soon hired by Midtown Machining. I ran machines like, drills and presses occasionally, but mostly lathes, and I loved it.

When the owner, Mr. Bender, and his brother interviewed me for the position, I told them that my father was a machinist. Confidently, I assured them that I was the person they needed, having helped my dad run his equipment. I failed to mention that I had only done so twice–once at age 7, and once at age 11.  Still, I wasn’t lying–I had helped Dad–and I knew I would do well. And I did.

Each day I made little gun parts, measuring down to 1000th of an inch. Perfection was the order of the day and I was proud of my abilities. Only once or twice do I recall the machine settings changing. I had applied too much pressure and Mr. Bender was a bit frustrated with me.

Bruce, my supervisor, was a kind, fatherly man. He never ‘preached’ or made a big deal of it, but I knew he believed in God. We only talked about it a time or two.  It was almost as if God had placed him there to show me gentleness and kindness. Like Grandma Katie, he made me feel valued, and treated me with patience and respect. He took time to encourage gentleness and femininity in me–a ‘rough and tumble’ young tomboy of a girl, quite ‘fresh off the farm’.

Within a few weeks of being excommunicated, I learned of an opportunity not far from my work place. A Christian gentleman, Murray Bisch, needed someone to care for his daughters in the morning before school, and in the evening. I made the call, met Murray, and was soon the nanny to his beautiful little girls.

Murray’s home was a safe place for me. He treated me with respect and dignity. I never feared for my safety in any way in his home. Only once did he touch me, and that was after asking if he could put his hand on my shoulder to pray for me, as I wept over rumours in the church that I was now living with a man. When I heard the rumour, I was devastated. I was a virgin, not counting any childhood sexual abuse I had suffered. The rumours cut to the heart. Murray prayed over me that night, inviting Jesus into my pain.

He understood betrayal. He had his own pain and grief to walk through as a single dad. I didn’t tell him what the rumours were, but he saw my pain and laid aside his own pain, to show me God’s love.

Again, God had not abandoned me, but provided an ‘angel’ to be there and show His heart.


 (Photography and graphic design courtesy of Rod Fritz, HotRod Studio.)

God brought this connection full circle more than twenty years later. We now attend the same church as Murray’s daughter and her family. Murray’s son-in-law Rod does graphics and design for Faith Girls Unleashed, our women’s ministry, as well as for Generations Unleashed, a ministry that we are about to launch  for men and women.

A year ago Murray, and his lovely wife Doris, allowed Faith Girls Unleashed to move in with a group of women, and use their gorgeous property for a day! (See photos above.)

Nothing is lost or wasted with God. What the enemy set out to use for destruction in my life, through excommunication and shunning, didn’t go according to plan. For several years I turned my back on God and wrecked my life in many ways, but I came through stronger and better. Through it all, God brought many wonderful people into my life, and  connections that I could not see back then, as I stumbled through the darkness of my pain.

That is why He is the Redeemer. That is why I love Him… One of so many reasons!

© Trudy Metzger 2012

Go to first post in this series: http://trudymetzger.com/2012/05/22/spiritual-abuse-introduction/

4 thoughts on “Spiritual Abuse Part 26__Shunned…Continued…. (2)

  1. Rod Fritz June 19, 2012 / 10:58 am

    Quite a story… You have come so far Trudy! It is an encouragement to see how heavily you lean on God. A good lesson for us all! Rod

    • Faith Girls Unleashed with Trudy Metzger June 19, 2012 / 11:12 am

      Thank you Rod! God has been good to me.. is good to me! And thanks for all the wonderful work you do for FGU and GUi! You’ve brought my dream to life, visually. Thank you! You rock!

  2. Carole June 19, 2012 / 11:13 pm

    Excellent series about spiritual abuse and.His redemptive. I agree with you: nothing is ever wasted in God’s economy. Your writing is annointed Trudy.

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