Breaking the Silence…

…to Heal our Broken Sexual Identity

There is irony in my title. For weeks I have not posted on my blog and today I’m breaking the silence. I have not necessarily chosen silence. It has been the ‘side effect’ of life. And ironically, it was because I have been working on ‘breaking the silence’ on another front.

During my silence, I read this advice on blogging that was, well, quite elementary, “If you don’t have anything to say, don’t blog.” So I didn’t.

It wasn’t really that I had nothing to say, just nothing that was blog worthy or that wasn’t intended for my book projects. In that realm I’ve been writing passionately about breaking the silence surrounding sexuality, especially in Christian cultures.

I am alarmed by our silence. When God created us, He made us as His image-bearers, male and female. He is okay with our sexuality and, more than that, He blesses it. He made us this way as part of a good creation, a good plan.

Genesis 1: 26 – 28

26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; […]” 27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 Then God blessed them…”

We might argue that this doesn’t mean we should talk about sexuality or be open about it, so we’ll say that’s for identity, and I will dig deeper for the other argument.

Leviticus 15 outlines a host of guidelines regarding sexuality. Guidelines that would require open communication. Vulnerable communication. About sex. And bodily functions.

For example, a woman’s menstrual cycle was considered to be seven days of ‘uncleanness’. From that day she was to count off seven days and then, on day fourteen, she was required to visit the priest with two doves and two pigeons for the offering that would make her ritually clean. Wow! Awkward. Nothing like watching all the girls on the same cycle line up together with their birds to announce they are ovulating.

Not only did the ritual require an open discussion between mom and her daughter, it meant the whole town knew! And we are all ‘hush hush’ about it in our homes and churches. How about if we still had to go visit our pastor for that. That would break the silence a bit.

And, so as not to let the guys off the hook, there is more. If a man has an emission of semen, whether a nocturnal emission, or any other semen spill, he is to wash and is considered unclean until evening. No more secrets about what happened in your sex life and parents would definitely have to talk with their sons.

If the ejaculation is through intercourse, guess what! They both get to wash up and be unclean until evening.

Imagine that! Now everyone knows you had sex!

While I’m not keen on implementing these rules and rituals again, there would be value in taking the weirdness out of discussing sex. There would be value in stealing the voice from media and society in general, and telling our kids the truth.

We are created in the image of God. In our sexuality, as males and females with all our unique characteristics and attributes, we reflect the very identity of God.

It is our responsibility to teach our children this incredible truth. Together we must break the silence, if we want this generation to be healed from their broken sexual identity. We owe it to them!

3 thoughts on “Breaking the Silence…

  1. Andrew Mills May 12, 2012 / 4:08 pm

    I think its funny that everyone else talks about sex but not the church. It is something we need to talk about at least to share what it is we value and know from God’s point of view

    • Totally! It’s more about being comfortable in talking about what we believe and equipping our kids, than it is about hammering a viewpoint or judging those who don’t agree. I like how you say that we should “share what it is we value and know from God’s point of view”. On that we have missed the mark! (BTW, I know you talk about it… Alicia came home from youth with lots of stories and information! lol! Just last week she mentioned it again!)

      • Andrew Mills May 13, 2012 / 6:35 am

        Its ironic you wrote this post because I’m starting a series at church on 4 Things You Don’t Talk about in Church next week and were going to be covering some of this – so great timing!

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